Dogs Love Watching Their Humans Have Sex

Brandon Newman2/21/2020 5:02 PM

My wife and I have a dog named Roadblock. Here’s Roadie.

Roadie likes to be in the room when my wife and I partake in “Mr. Nasty Time.” I don't think Roadie should be in the room during “Mr. Nasty Time.” I also don’t think Roadie should be in the bed at all but guess where he sleeps.

As much as I love Roadblock, I must emphasize “my wife and I” have a dog because if it wasn’t for her, I definitely wouldn’t have a dog. I wouldn’t even be able to afford a dog if it wasn’t for her. Do you know how much it costs when your dog gets sick? I don’t, but my wife does and she gets very angry and surprised every time she pays his medical bills.

I like having a dog, but sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in my home that remembers that Roadblock is an animal. There’s an animal living in our home. That’s nasty. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. I grew up with dogs. RIP Miles (Davis), (David) Sanborn, and the sweet girl Jazzmin, but half the time they slept outside in a proper doghouse.

Their status as domesticated animals never gets lost on me. If I didn’t have a dog, would I be sad? Of course. Would I get over it? Absolutely. I do every time. At the end of the day, dogs are like cell phones. If they died, I’m just going to get a new one. But back to the sex stuff…

Because dogs are animals, they tend to do weird shit during their humans' sex. The majority of that weird shit, I’m simply not okay with. Our dog Roadblock always tries to get all up in the mix. Making intense eye contact with me while I’m trying to enjoy myself. Barking at us when things get a little more fun and forceful during the act. To be such wise, instinctual animals, dogs clearly don’t pick up on the scent of consent.

Over time I’ve become a big “no dogs in the room during sex” guy, which definitely dampers the spontaneity of sex, but as far as I can tell, so does being married. I know some couples don’t mind a pair of animal eyes locked in on them while playing a quick game of “hide the penis” but I’m definitely not one of them.

Where do you stand on having dogs in the room during sex?

Now enjoy some images of dogs watching their humans about to have sex.