Cristiano Ronaldo Apparently Gives His Girlfriend $100,000 Each Month To Live A Lavish Life... I'm Now Willing To Date Ronaldo

What a life, what a damn life. I did the quick google conversion and 80,000 pounds equals roughly $103,000 per month that Georgina Rodriguez gets to spend to help her live a lavish lifestyle. That's such an outrageous number when you hear it out loud. I also realize that it's chump change for Ronaldo, but $103,000 per month just to live a lavish lifestyle? I'm willing to date Ronaldo right this second for that. Now granted I'm a 32-year old man and don't look like this, I still think I have something to offer to Ronaldo: 

But if Ronaldo wants a relationship where we just watch sports, don't talk and leave each other alone. Well, buddy, I'll take a discount. $50,000 a month for my allowance. That's all I ask for. Seems like a pretty even deal for both of us. Hell, we can even do a throuple thing like House Hunters

Imagine you have a bad month gambling, no worries, you're still coming out on top thanks to Ronaldo. Sometimes life can be so unfair. I want to be mad but how can you? The dude makes $975,000 per Instagram post.  He literally prints money. I guess that's what happens when you're an all-time soccer player, an all-time personality and dating a smoke.