Some Maniac Has Been Dropping Off Pillow Cases FULL OF SNAKES To A UK Fire Station
(CNN)Another 16 snakes have been dumped in pillowcases outside a UK fire station where 13 pythons were discovered just last week.
The latest haul of 15 corn snakes and a carpet python was found on Saturday in a bin behind Farringdon Fire Station in Sunderland, northeast England, according to a statement from the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA).
The 16 snakes were taken to the vets and found to be in fairly good condition despite their ordeal, according to RSPCA inspector Heidi Cleaver.
Fuuuuuck that.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm afraid of snakes. I just don't like them. There's something about an animal that doesn't have limbs that just creeps me out. That and the way they just slither, I'd actually argue the slithering is the reason why so many people don't like them. It's just off-putting seeing a long, limbless animal slither it's way over to you. If snakes simply had some legs, they'd probably be more domesticated and people would like them. That or they would use their limbs to start a mass genocide of the human race, turning Earth into some sort of snake planet.
Pillowcases? Full of snakes? Yeah, fuck that. Couldn't be me.
However, I will say I am intrigued by this man who must have snakes on a fucking tap. Not because he's some cool dude, I just want to pick his brain. You know, get to know him, ask some questions. Things of that nature. Someone with a brain like this needs to be examined, you can't just let snake guy go and rot in a jail cell. No, you have to find out all of his motives, you HAVE to find out where he got the snakes in February in England.
Like how the fuck is this guy just wrangling up twenty-nine snakes? There is no fucking way this guy legally bought them, they would've been able to find him by now if that was the case. I genuinely hope this man stole them from pet stores. I say that because the alternative would be that this psycho is camped out searching for the little bastards in the wild. Which I wouldn't exactly put past the guy who's walking around like he's fucking Jake the snake Roberts.
Should they ever find the culprit, he should be fired into the sun. We can't be having guys like this merely collecting snakes only to unleash chaos upon the world. In the picture from the article, you can see that these weren't exactly small snakes. I can only imagine the reaction to opening up that first pillowcase. I wouldn't even know what to expect if I saw a full pillowcase at my doorstep.
"Leftover Halloween candy?! In February? Well, don't mind if I do!". Only to have my hopes and dreams SHATTERED by a baker's dozen of pythons, right in my fucking face.
Thankfully, the snakes that were dropped off at the fire department were not venomous and nobody got hurt. Regardless, there is clearly a mad man on the loose and I suggest his reign of terror is put to an end. Just wait and see if he comes back then catch him in a comically large net, like the animal he is.
PS - Couldn't write a blog about snakes and NOT include this clip.