Barstool Breakfast's Newest Member- WILLIE HAD A BABY!!!

Large2/14/2020 1:52 AM

On behalf of Willie and Aikisha Colon, I would like to announce the birth of their first son, William M Colon IV, The Crown Prince of Paramus.

As you can read from his Insta post, both momma and baby are doing splendidly, and I will wait for the proud poppa before I give out any particulars on length and weight.

HOWEVER... There are 5 things you can know...

1) This kid is going to be unapologetically spoiled to death by a family that has been waiting for his arrival about as patiently as a junkie on line at the methadone clinic.

"How do you know Junior will be spoiled, Large?", you might ask.

Well. Both Willie and his beautiful bride showed up to my daughter's 9th birthday... A small affair at my house with maybe 80 or 90 people present... And they proceeded to drop $1,000 worth of unicorn related gifts on her overwhelmed head only because Aikisha had vaguely remembered my girl mentioning she liked unicorns once.

2) Although this little guy was clearly born on third base, I think Mr. and Mrs. Colon are more than up to the challenge of convincing him he didn't hit a triple to get there.

3) I am very excited to meet my possible godchild (fingers crossed!!) after I am done drinking my fucking face off at Daytona this weekend.

4) No matter how much I may want it, it seems Willie will NOT become the newest member of The Podfathers (even though he fucking killed it in this week's episode). And the lone reason Willie and his son will be on the outside looking in is that Clem is a fucking HUUUUUUUGE racist.

and finally, 5) Since Willie does not have access to a computer (and his fingers are too massive to operate traditional keyboards), he has given me exclusive permission to post THE FIRST-EVER PICTURE OF WILLIE COLON AND HIS BOUNCING BABY BOY...