BETRAYAL! Papa John Schnatter Admitted He Didn't Actually Eat 40 Pizzas In 30 Days

(NBC) "Former Papa John's CEO John Schnatter tried to clarify his wild statement that implied that he ate more than one whole pie a day for a month in criticizing the pizza giant he once controlled.

Back in November, Schnatter told WDRB, a Fox affiliate in Louisville, Kentucky, that he "had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days" and concluded that Papa John's is "not the same pizza" since his ouster.

But this week, on the H3 Podcast, Schnatter said the verb "had" wasn't the same as "eaten."

"Well I didn't say I had eaten 40 pizzas in 30 days. I said I had 40 pizzas in 30 days," Schnatter said."

Looks like ole Papa John is at it again getting his very clear and straightforward statements apparently misconstrued by the media! While most of us might think that "I had a pizza" means that you ate it, John says that's simply not true. What does the word "had" mean in this context? I guess that is a choose-your-own-adventure for us to figure out. Personally, I don't think there is any way to interpret it other than he creamed the hell out of 40 pizza pies. 

Perhaps he adheres to his own sort of pizza-based religion? Maybe the 40 pizzas is his version of the 40 virgins he gets in heaven. That might just be what the day of reckoning he keeps mentioning is all about. 

If this is the case, you better be prepared to declare your allegiance before the official crusade/Jihad against non-believers of the oily-faced king before you miss your chance. When the day of reckoning comes, do you want to be left by the wayside or do you want to be balls-deep in a Meat-Lovers pie? 

To further my point, here is a later part of that interview when Schattner tried to clarify his statement:

"Then Schnatter pulled out a picture of a pizza and said "had" usually means he's "inspecting" a pie or eating just part of it."

You're telling me that he just keeps a gallery of pizza pies that he ordered in his phone and he ISN'T using it to pound off? Get real, dude. This has revenge porn written all over it and I won't be told otherwise.