Happy Birthday Big Cat

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to come in contact with a former anonymous but completely real former classmate of Big Cat's. They provided me with some interesting short stories and tidbits about Dan as a kid, as you can see from this tweet:

Here's a few more fun facts about the birthday boy:

- Made 2 out of 25 shots in the 1997 Knights of Columbus Free Throw competition and then faked a shoulder injury

- The only kid at David McFarland’s 12th birthday party who didn't do a back flip off the diving board. Tried to compensate by starting a “cannonball splash tournament”

- Whenever he’d get knocked out in four square at recess he’d kick the ball as far as possible and laugh hysterically like it was a “funny joke" even though he temporarily ruined the game and everyone was annoyed

- Used to just eat the cheese and Chips Ahoy cookie (all at once) from his Lunchables and then try to trade his crackers and ham for fruit snacks or Hostess cupcakes. Never worked

- Played nose guard and backup left tackle in his YMCA flag football league. Go-to line was “I have the most important job on the field” when teammates would brag about their touchdowns

- Showed up to school on Halloween in 5th grade dressed up as Rum Tum Tugger from the Broadway musical Cats and everyone started making fun of him, so he tried to play it off by saying “Haha guys I know it’s a stupid costume, it’s just funny because my last name is Katz." Came back from bathroom with runny face makeup

- Misspelled “agent” in the practice round of the 7th grade spelling bee

- Claimed he had an “infected bee sting” on his palm after Emily Hoffman broke through his grip during a game of Red Rover

- Laminated and framed his 8th grade basketball Hustle Award certificate. Hung it up in his bedroom next to his Lamborghini poster

- Pronounced Moises Alou “Moses Allow” in a lunch table conversation sophomore year

- Was afraid of downloading music on Napster because “people go to jail for it every day." Bought Madden 2003 just so he could listen to The Anthem by Good Charlotte on the main menu

- Got alcohol poisoning at a Goo Goo Dolls concert and his "best friends" left him to die because they didn’t want to miss Iris

- Batted 8th on his Little League team and would tell everyone “8 is my lucky number so I love batting 8th”

- “Right field is actually the best position. Hank Aaron played it”

- Showered in his South Park boxers after freshman football practices

- “What? You guys don’t like South Park?!”

- Walked into his senior prom wearing goggles and a snorkel and no one laughed 

- Myspace song in college was the "chopped & screwed" version of Hustler Musik by Lil Wayne 

- Was "that guy" who did the worm at every pep rally

- Loved repeatedly saying "what would happen if I tea bagged you?" to the kid in his gym class with a nut allergy

- Left the theater in the middle of Blair Witch Project and never came back because he had "food poisoning" and "couldn't stop throwing up"

- Lost dessert privileges when he didn't finish his entire bowl of orange sherbet

- Got mild poison ivy in between his fingers at Boy Scouts camp and couldn't complete any of the knot tying challenges

- Rewinded Mr. Deeds to watch the Hawaiian Punch soda fountain scene 12 straight times

- Future goal in his senior yearbook was "Become the CEO of the Pen 15 Club"

- Couldn't ollie on a razor scooter 

- Purposely sharpened his pencil as loud and long as possible every class, which was moderately funny sometimes, but he'd also do it during the good parts of movies and everyone would audibly groan

- Always said "I actually called it in sign language before you" whenever his friends tried to take shotgun 

- Owned multiple megaphones

- AP physics project was "debunking the theory that Dairy Queen blizzards don't fall out of the cup every time they're turned upside down"

- Said "present" in a girly voice when his teachers took roll

- Pretended to stumble and slur his words in church after drinking the communion wine

- Faked a hole-in-one every time he went golfing because "it would be funny if they actually believed me and put it in the paper or something"

- Shouted the word "wave" really loudly at games instead of participating in the actual wave

- Said "what?! That's what it's called!" whenever his gym teacher would scold him for referring to the badminton shuttlecock as "the cock"

- Brought a mega pack of chips and a cooler of capri suns to every baseball game, even when his parents weren't in charge of bringing the post-game snacks

- Was jealous that his classmate found a four leaf clover on a field trip to a local war memorial, so he tried to steal the kid's thunder by claiming he found a "six leaf clover" that was actually just two three leaf clovers that he "glued" together with tree sap

- Accidentally called his pediatrician "dad" during a 1998 physical

- Regularly wrote handwritten fan mail to Will Friedle (Eric Matthews in Boy Meets World) for three years without ever getting a response. Claimed he was "just trying to mess with him."