The British Woman Who Predicts The Future With Asparagus Just Might Be The Real Deal, OR She Could Be Completely Full Of Shit..
A 64 year old British Woman/Sorcerer/Asparamancer named Jemima Packington claims that she can predict the future by throwing stalks of asparagus into the air and then reading the stalks where they fall. Crazy right? Yea, it is fucking crazy, it's batshit crazy, but don't judge too soon, because this complete nutjob just might be the real deal….
Source and photos of this wizard here https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/psychic-who-predicted-brexit-claims-21210624
Tools To Tell The Future, Or Delicious Vegetable?
I will admit, I enjoy the thought of clairvoyance being real, it gives another realm of possibility to the unexplainable shit show that is life, and it's interesting at the very least. Maybe psychics, mediums, and sorcerers do exist. Maybe they can talk to the dead, maybe they can predict the future, and maybe one day I will be even fatter, sitting on a dilapidated couch and crying my eyes out while some bullshit artist convinces me she is talking to my dead father, and that all along he WAS actually proud of me…. Or maybe I could see a shrink and hammer out that shit now, but that's far too healthy and just not in the cards….. What's important is, what if it is real?!?!
Well my friends, I am here to tell you that Jemima Packington just may be the sorcerer that can finally change all of our minds about the multi BILLION dollar con-artist industry that preys on the weak, grieving, and lost souls in our culture, all whom are just looking for answers and closure in this crazy and cruel world.
Just listen to some of the predictions that she has made that have all come true..
A Star Is Born will win the Oscar, CORRECT
England's cricket team will win the world cup, CORRECT
Boris Johnson will lead the Conservative Party to Brexit- CORRECT
Volcanoes and earthquakes will continue to happen - CORRECT
The show Big Brother will return to UK television - CORRECT
Seen enough to start believing yet? This woman is magical and she claims she is 75 to 90% correct, 100% of the time. However, what is most startling is that one of her 2020 predictions has already happened, and that being that some members of the Royal family will step down from their official duties, and guess what happened TODAY?? Yep, Prince Harry and his Duchess Meghan Markle announced they will be stepping down from their roles as members of the royal family…because they are idiots and want to be more financially independent. HOLY SHIT, THE ASPARAGUS SPEARS ARE HOT WITH TRUTH!!
Now that you know she is the real deal without a shadow of a doubt, here are a few more predictions this lunatic made for 2020 that you might want to pay attention to.
Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2020, but will again face impeachment and be thrown out of office.
English sports stars will be involved in scandals, some of the names might shock you!
3. There will be more births and a death in the royal family
4. Brexit will happen smoothly and be a complete success
- Hurricanes and flooding will increase, all caused by Global Warming
And most importantly 6. The Vale of Eversham asparagus will be regarded as the world's most prized vegetable (did not see that one coming!!)
So there are the facts, do with them as you will, but I gotta tell you, I am now a firm believer that this woman should probably be kidnapped and put in a room with all the asparagus and cats she needs so that we can all rest easy at night knowing EXACTLY what is coming to us!! And also so she doesn't bother anyone anymore.
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