It's Officially Girl Scout Cookie SZN And This Year's Brand New Cookie Is....

Ohhh shit, here we go. Girl Scout Cookie SZN started TODAY and there's a new flavor in town...

So what's this hot, unique cookie I'm going to be eating entire sleeves of in the privacy of my own home late into the night & way too early in the morning? Is it going to be as addicting as the refreshingly minty-yet-rich crisp 'snap' of a Thin Mint? Will it have the razzle-dazzle of those fudge-draped, coconut smothered Caramel deLites? Will I take a time machine back to 1998 just to fight my brother over them as if they were the coveted Tagalongs?

I can't wait anymore... What's the new Girl Scout cookie?!

::DRUMROLL PLEASE::

...Le...Lemon-Ups? 

But… but we already have those stupid Lemonades. 

These are literally the same thing but somehow more boring. I don't accept it, and I refuse to read the positive affirmations, no matter how empowering.

I must admit, I will still be eating a ton of the other kinds, as per usual. But if any of those 'lil gals corral me outside a grocery store and try to get me to buy Lemon-Ups? I don't care if their sashes have the cutest patches in the land. Buddy, I'm gone.

In closing: