"By Whatever Means Necessary": Florida Woman Threatens McDonald's Workers For Sauce Packets
I mean... who among us hasn't had a few too many & caved to that ravenous, insatiable late night hunger beast? When it comes for me I usually wind up ordering about $60-worth of fried food varietals for delivery, or grab as many snacks as my arms can hold at the corner bodega, then dump 'em on the check-out counter & go back for a second arm-full.
And dipping sauces are for sure key in this equation... I keep my fridge stocked with ranch at all times in case of emergencies, and the disappointment one feels when you open your order to see the sauce missing? Unrivaled.
Unfortunately in this case, not only was the sauce-obsessed boozer a tad underage, she also chose to get behind the wheel & wreak havoc on a fast food joint...
Via the Indian River County Sheriff's Office from the responding officer's report:
::To set the scene, keep in mind this is at a Florida McDonald's drive thru at 03:47AM, New Years Day::
Per the caller, a female driving a silver four door threatened to "rob" the restaurant if she didn't receive the food she ordered.
I made contact with the driver, Maguire McLaughlin, who was in an irate state. McLaughlin began yelling profanities at your affiant (writer of this affidavit) and advised of the following:
Prior to my arrival she ordered a large amount of food through the drive thru window. Upon paying for the food, she requested dipping sauces from the employee. The employee advised McLaughlin that dipping sauce costs 25 cents at which point a verbal altercation ensued. McLaughlin further stated that she will be getting the sauce by whatever means necessary, however, could not specify what she meant by that.
As McLaughlin spoke, I could smell the odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her mouth. Her eyes were glossy and speech was slurred. McLaughlin would momentarily become cooperative and suddenly begin yelling profanities.
The affidavit goes on to interview employees who said she had demanded 'one flavor of every dipping sauce they have'.
Ultimately when police tried arresting her she locked her legs to resist & they had to take her to the ground to place her in restraints.
There are currently 14 possible sauce options at McDonald's, and since Ms. McLaughlin demanded 'one flavor of every dipping sauce they have', I was inspired to list them out in order from what we can all agree are the absolute greatest at the top to worst at the bottom:
#1. Mayo
#2. Mustard
#3. Tartar
#4. Honey
#5. Ketchup
#6. Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic
#7. Newman's Own French
#8. Newman's Own Ranch
#9. Newman's Own Creamy Southwest
#10. Creamy Ranch
#11. Honey Mustard
#12. Tangy BBQ
#13. Spicy Buffalo
#14. Sweet 'N Sour
*I realize not all of these are dipping sauces, but I put myself in 03:47AM drunk driver shoes & feel at that point that if I said "one of each kind" I'd mean the whole enchilada of options. Literally any and everything I could put on a nugget.
In closing, friendly reminder that drinking & driving? Actually bad.
To really drive that home (soberly!), here's the most heart-string-tugging PSA I've ever seen… Get a designated driver to swing by the drive thru & bring some nuggs home to your best friend.