A Man Was On The Brink Of Death Because He Got A Popcorn Kernel Stuck In His Teeth
Often times I’ll see a headline like this one and I’ll be like
Like ok sure, NY Post, I’m sureeee that’s what happened. But this one…is real.
NY Post -This firefighter needed lifesaving open-heart surgery when he got a potentially fatal blood infection — for a really corny reason.
Adam Martin, 41, was “on death’s door” after endocarditis left him fighting for his life. This infection of the inner lining of the heart chambers and valves occurs when germs from another part of the body spread through the bloodstream and damage the heart.
The infection, however, was caused by his constant poking and prodding at a piece popcorn lodged between his teeth. Adam told his medical team he used “items I found laying around” — a pen cap, toothpick, a piece of wire and even a nail — in a desperate attempt to dislodge the stubborn hull.
“The doctors told me if I hadn’t gone to the GP when I did then I could have been dead in three days,” Martin said. “Most people die when they are at 350 on an infection scale and I was at 340. The infection had eaten my heart valves completely.”
This hit extremely close to home. I was JUST talking about this with Vibbs yesterday how you have that 1 certain place in your teeth where food, we were talking about chicken, always gets stuck. And then when you floss you just start finding all sorts of shit in the back of your mouth. Like food that you ate 3 days ago just chillin in crevices you didn’t know existed. And we were talking about how we do the exact same thing as this guy when something gets stuck in there, you start poking away at it with whatever you can find- business cards, mustard packets, pen caps, you name it.
But chicken is child’s play- popcorn kernels are relentless. They are little tiny terrorists sent here to destroy the human race. It’s actually crazy how a tiny popcorn kernel can completely ruin your day. You’re defenseless to it. One second you’re enjoying a nice snack, taking in a film at the local theatre, and the next second there is a full-fledged war going on in the back of your mouth. It ruins the entire rest of the movie for you because you’re maneuvering your tongue around your mouth in ways you didn’t know was possible, trying to free it. And the kernel doesn’t budge, it just manifests deeper into your gums, like a bear hibernating for the winter.
And as it turns out, you can die from it, which doesn’t shock me at all. One microscopic little kernel put this guy at a 340 on the infection scale when a 350 would killed him. Nuts. I didn’t post the whole article, but if you click it, they go into more details about how it fucked up his entire insides. Infections, clogged arteries, a heart defect and more, all from 1 tiny little popcorn kernel. It’s crazy yet believable.
So be safe out there, kids. One second you’re tapping your foot, enjoying the hell out of CATS, and the next second you’re on your death bed with an exploding heart and a blocked femoral artery. Life comes at you fast.