Relationship Goals: Text Message Fight Goes Viral After Girlfriend Fails To Buy Her Man The Red Lobster Dinner He Deserves

I've been doing this long enough to know that 85, 90% of the time these viral text things are fake or staged, but I also learned that life's a lot more fun just pretending everything is real. I mean what's the worst case scenario — Teonna got her roommate to text her some crazy stuff so she could get some retweets? While the best is that she's hanging out with a guy who eats Red Lobster 4 nights a week and deserves to be treated to that Red Lobster because he's a King on a whole 'nother level that you peasants don't even know about.

Teonna gave a little background on the situation — they're not "dating" per se, they're just "talking." Everyone has their own definitions but personally, at least in all my serious relationships from the past 32 years, I always know something is a "relationship" the day that they start bringing me home Red Lobster for dinner. Red Lobster is like a relationship totem to me. 

Lot of people are bashing this guy.  

People who don't believe in themselves. 

People whose insecurity is crippling them and preventing them from reaching their full potential.

This man knows his worth. He knows he is in peak physical, mental, and most importantly spiritual shape.  He knows what he deserves: Red Lobster 4 nights a week, minimum. Maybe even 5 if he wasn't satisfied with his Ultimate Feast choices the night before and doesn't want to head into the weekend on a bad note. I mean it's 5 Days, 5 Deals, Just $15 for a reason — the whole Red Lobster menu program is designed for that time length.

Now would I personally speak to a significant other this way? No I would not. But that's because I'm insecure and immature. I don't have the spiritual fulfillment and concrete sense of self that this man does. I don't have the confidence in myself to know — truly know, deep in my bones — that I am worthy of the RL Signature Creamy Lobster Alfredo washed down with a Triple Berry Sangria in a "Deadliest Catch" collector's glass Monday through Sunday, 4 weeks a month, 12 months a year. 

I don't deserve a loving and caring partner making me a home-cooked meal after a long day of work. I've worked too hard for that. I deserve a styrofoam takeout container of Endless Shrimp ready and waiting for me on a fold-out TV dinner table as soon as I walk in the door and if you can't handle that, sorry but you don't qualify for my league.

Fellas, stand up at your desk right now, puff your chest out, and say it with me, loud and proud:

"Let me tell you I know I deserve to eat Red Lobster."

(via Twitter)