A Kentucky Woman Was Arrested After Trying To Use Her Dog's Piss For Her Drug Test

[Source] - A Kentucky woman has been arrested after police said she tried to use her dog's urine during a drug screening on Monday. Police said the incident took place when Julie Miller, 40, was at the Bell County Probation and Parole Office for a probation visit.

Police said she later admitted to police that it was her dog's urine. She was then asked by police if it was brought in because she knew she would fail the drug test and she said yes. She said her test would show she had used methamphetamine and Suboxone.

Goddamnit, there goes eastern Kentucky embarrassing the Commonwealth again. You can't be using your dog's piss to try and pass your drug test just because you did a little meth and suboxone. Watch Entourage for me one time and adjust using a fake cock. 

I will say this though - the creativity level is through the roof here. Anyone can go get someone else's piss. You can call a friend and ask them (assuming they aren't doing the meth with you) to piss in a cup and use that. But how do you really throw the scent off? Use a dog. I need to know what the results looked like when the lab tech was looking at it all. 

Sure, the lesson here as always is don't do meth. That's a given. But if you're going to do meth, don't get arrested and don't use your dog's piss to pass a drug test. Just stop doing the meth, even if you live in Pikeville and there's nothing to really do besides go get some water from the Cumberland Gap in Middlesboro. She should get bonus points though for not lying. She straight up said she did this because she was going to fail. Honesty always plays. 

PS: still the best drug test story of all time: