BSC 2019 Top 20 Countdown - #2 Cup Snakes
This is the 19th entry in the Barstool Chicago Top 20 Moments of 2019 blog series. The list is coming from our perspective as 4 dudes who got the job of a lifetime exactly one year ago.
We covered this list in person at the December 20th live show. We're following it up on our podcasts to close out the year under following schedule:
#18 Keeping The Watch Party At Declan's Alive
#17 St. Patrick's Day Got Rowdy
#15 Dee Brown Comes On Red Line Radio
#14 The Coldest Day In History
#13 Becoming Best Friends With Jeremy Roenick
#12 Going To The Joffrey Ballet
#11 Repeated WSD Blogging Errors
#10 Bears vs. Packers FanDuel Live Stream
#9 Burger King Manager Goes On Dog Walk
#6 WSD Finally Chains Himself To Statute, Almost Gets Struck Down By Lightning
#5 Slob Gate Sends WSD Down And Back
#4 WSD Wins The Speed Pitch Contest
#2 Cup Snakes
*Boner rips through pants*
Sorry about that guys but we're pretty excited over here for #2 on the list because I get to recap the fact that the HEAD OF COMMUNICATIONS FOR THE CHICAGO CUBS SENT THIS EMAIL TO BARSTOOL SPORTS
Full Text:
From: Cubs Vice President, Communications and Community Affairs Julian Green
To: Barstool Sports
*****, So now Barstool Sports (Eddie and Carl) are going to go on a crusade for a guy who goes by #ligmyballsack and make him a martyr under the guise of an Emergency New Brief? Eddie says they don’t care about the snakes but Barstool is selling $20 t-shirts that say Come and Take it? If this is the posture Barstool is going to take with our business and ex-employees then we will have no interest in not only future opportunities with fans, players, etc., but flag our vote of no confidence with the other clubs and Major League Baseball. I have received numerous messages from colleagues from around the league, including recently from the Cardinals who called this B.S. This is not going to go over well with other teams. And if Eddie/Carl want to continue to promote antagonistic behavior which puts our staff and ballpark at risk then we will move immediately to a legal posture. As I shared, this only became an issue when your guys started down a road to harass our staff. Since they now want to go to WAR (their words), are they prepared to accept liability if/when an incident happens with our fans that leads to a severe injury? I’m available later this evening.
Julian
I mean what a fucking email. The St. Louis Cardinals bro?? I'm surprised Julian's coworkers let him show up to work after making this such a public disgrace. I've never been more embarrassed as a Cubs fan and consider all the shit we have to be embarrassed about historically. Legit laugh out loud funny how detached the head honcho could be for the biggest franchise in town. Global brand. World Series Champions. Blah blah blah blah blah. And this is the best you guys have to offer? Holy smokes dude. Newsflash Julian we are so much bigger than you want to give bloggers credit for so let's hope, in hindsight, that the club learned some kind of valuable lesson about kicking the hornet's nest. Or in other words maybe just leave us the fuck alone and let us have our fun.
I'm sitting on the couch at my buddy's place now doing the standard 30-something year old New Years eve. Yes I'm writing these as I go because I don't have the commitment to schedule things ahead of time and also I think it makes for a more authentic experience to squeeze these out one hour at a time. Anyways I'm at my buddy Mahoney's who was made famous in our putting contest video this summer. It's me him and my other buddy Jake. The girls are in the kitchen guzzling wine. We're watching the Hawks as I pound out the last couple of these and gassing some miller lites. Mahoney just made a bomb nacho dip and Jake has a full pack of Parliaments that I'll be navigating over the next 4 hours. Because it's a holiday my wife won't mind.
I'm giving you this context because I want you on the couch with me and my 2 diehard Cubs buddies. 2 of my closest muchachos. These are the guys I text at 11:07pm to say "Would be nice to have a fucking bullpen one goddamn time" knowing that I'll get two separate doses of "no shit" before 11:08. We've been ripping cigs in the bleachers and blacking out on clark street since I graduated college and moved to the north side. These are my Cubs guys.
And while we're all on the couch together, as the Hawks are bulldozing the Flames. As the ball prepares to drop on 2020 and we close the decade and get hammered together. The three of us collectively and independently cannot think of something in our fandom as Cubs fans that makes us cringe more than that fucking email from Julian Green.
From Jake:
It's one thing to fuck up a free agent signing. Even Brandon Morrow in some respect. But to think sending that email to Barstool is a good idea is quite literally unforgivable. There are assholes and then there's Julian Green. He's on another level.
From Mahoney
Real jagoff move
And when you think about it, what's wrong with stacking cups and slamming cold ones? Where I come from we call that 5pm. Lighten up losers.
Even better is turning the clock back to how this started. Eddie interviewed Ligmaballsack on Dog Walk and then he lost his usher job. From there the saga EXPLODED. I never knew Cup Snakes could dominate like this
Fast forward a couple months later and I'm making cup snakes with Rob Manfed aka THE GODDAMN COMMISSIONER
NBD but he told me to my face the Cubs were being stupid which was no surprise because the Cubs were being extremely fucking stupid. He had absolutely zero problem with the following:
Then mix in the fact that directly after Julian sent that email, I interviewed Kris Bryant. Hey Julian are you sure you're limiting access? Or do the Cardinals have some comments you want to copy and paste into that longwinded ass bush league response.
The whole thing ballooned into such a ridiculous story that you imagine the Cubs had some kind of crisis team internally. Personally I loved it because I thrive off people learning the hard way that we're just trying to have a good time. We just want to hang out. And now Cup Snakes will literally never go away for no other reason than the Cubs wanted to make a huge deal about it. Good luck with that guys. 3rd place teams can't pull this shit.
Up Next - #1 TAKE A WILD GUESS