Live EventRico vs. Data - Pick Em Week 15 | Championship WeekStarting Soon
Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 3 | Shocking Betrayal Rocks the TribesWATCH NOW

Christmas Gift-Cuck Update: I Got My Mom The Grill She Wanted. She Was In Tears. I Win.

So the last we left off I was left stunned at my own house to find out I had been Christmas gift-cucked by my mother's boyfriend. 

A tidbit I left out was that for last Christmas I got my mom an Alexa. He got her a Google home. She only uses the Alexa so I won that fight, but you just can't make this shit up. It's a war we are destined to fight for the rest of time. Should we communicate on December 1st what the plan is? Yeah, probably, but that has yet to happen. Anyways....

This seems to be a story people are actually following along with, as you all have great Christmas Eve's, so I figured I'll update the story for those curious. I decided to pivot and get her something else she had been dying for. A new grill. Fine, I can do that. Let me just return the TV to Best Buy and we'll go from there. I got to Best Buy and was immediately told since I didn't have the TV yet I couldn't return it. Naturally, idiot. They couldn't cancel the order either. So I have to wait for this thing to show up on Thursday to return it, if I decide to return it. 

I headed to Home Depot to buy a grill. I can promise you there is no one in the world who feels more out of place in a Home Depot than me. I found the grill area and miraculously tracked down the grill I needed, which of course was on the top, top shelf. Some guy brought it down after 30 minutes, I paid, and wheeled it to my car on some cart. That's when I realized I brought my piece of shit 2003 Acura to Home Depot to bring home a giant grill. 

Legitimately zero thought went into this decision. The grill laughably didn't fit in my trunk or my back seat. Not even close. I couldn't put the passenger seat down because this car is 85 years old and it doesn't work. Three workers came out to investigate and help me to no avail. I'm so fucking stupid. Home Depot was 15 minutes from closing, because it's Christmas Eve. I sat in the parking lot for 40 minutes waiting for an Uber XL to come and pick this thing up. Only person in the parking lot. Someone driving by probably thought I was waiting for a drug deal. The uber driver followed me home and then I gave the gift to my mom right then, because there was no way I could hide it until morning. I told her the whole story and she was in tears. Both happiness and laughing at how stupid I am. 

I win. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah to all. Now I must meet my sister's boyfriend for the first time during dinner. This Hawaii bowl game needs to start right now and not a second later. 

P.S. Still debating sabotaging the TV later tonight. It's a pride thing at this point.