Do The Cubs Have A Secret Deal In Place With Nick Castellabos?

I'm not a big offseason speculation guy just because I want to be straight up with you. I don't like working my sources this time of year much less any time of year. Just not my style and really not a barstool thing to begin with. My extremely limited exposure to Behind The Scenes yields virtually nothing. I just read some tea leaves and trust my gut. And to be completely honest - I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to be an insider because almost all of the people on the inside suck. You think I want to kiss Crane Kenney's ass 365 a year so I can get a lanyard come Spring Training? Or that I'd be hanging in the lobby at winter meetings waiting for the next big rumor from Jed? No one owes me anything and unfortunately that's the only way to get places with those kinds of people.  

So I say Fuck That Noise. It's the best time of the year to be hanging out with friends and family and get loaded. Let the smart people like Theo Epstein and his org-chart of top tier MBA's do all the hard work. It's called the offseason for a reason folks. Unless you.. yes YOU... are lacing them up when pitchers and catchers report, I recommend taking a break from the action and giving your dick a rest. Beating it too much this late in the year can lead to skin problems. Save it for August and September when the atmospheric moisture is much more soothing. 

I understand this is getting weird so let's take a step back. Point is Barstool Chicago isn't your #1 rumor mill for Cubs personnel strategy. Not when I'm trying to save the Bears or Boat Watch one time. 

But then every now and again a story comes up that's unavoidable. It requires commentary: 

Mike Murphy - "And I've heard from inside sources that con - uhh, uhh, that Castellanos has agreed - in principal - to uh - to sigining with the Cubs. They've asked him to wait. They asked him to wait."

I'm not a big coffee drinker so maybe it's my lack of developed taste, but I definitely just spit a lot of it out as I listened to Mike Murphy explain the secret deal in principal. Whatever that means. 

Listen in order for this to be a deal, there'd have to be so many KNOWN variables. And as it stands, we're all in agreement these are UNKNOWN variables: arbitration $$'s, extensions and trades. It would be impossible to even pretend to have a deal with a bigger FA with all those questions in the air. And probably most obvious is that the 3rd baseman market settled last week and there's still shit to be decided on the KB grievance. So in reality, the Cubs don't even know what they have moving into 2020 so how TF can they have a deal with Llabos under the table? Doing so would mean Nick completely forfeited his leverage and last time I checked he's a Boras guy. Get this shit out of my face because it's stupid and not true. 

Woah. Carl is really salty.

No shit. The Bears are dead. The Blackhawks SUCK and the Bulls are more interested in developing a head coach than Lauri. I'm salty because it just sucks knowing how much we suck and how far away everything is. And deep down the worst part is the Cubs were the one thing I should be counting on and instead it's the greatest source of my frustration. Billionaire ownership. Hall of fame executives. Longest standing team president in the city. So much baked in goodwill and reasons to be industry leaders and instead I feel like I live in Kansas Fucking City (no offense). Where's the goddamn pride and more importantly where's the fucking money Tom? 

WHERE