Some Asshole Got His Beehive Approved As An Emotional Support Animal
(source)–Prescott Valley, Ariz., resident David Keller thinks the application process to register an emotional support animal is too easy — so he tried registering a swarm of bees as his service pet.
It worked.
He recently went on a website called USAServiceDogRegistration.com and successfully uploaded a random photo of a beehive as a service animal “to bring awareness to the issue that anyone could do this,” he explains.
Keller was inspired to go through with the registration after seeing a service dog that was visibly untrained. “I could very easily tell that it was not a service animal because it was pulling the owner to the parking lot,” says Keller. “I was thinking that it’s just too easy to get these animals to be service animals.”
I’d like to begin this blog with a simple message to the man who got Bees approved as a service animal.
Dear Mr. Keller,
Sweet job with your “test”, idiot. Look, EVERYONE knows like .0001% of service dogs are actually service dogs. The only actual service dogs in the airport are the ones you’re not allowed to pet and they make some people going through the security line have this face
The rest of the dogs are just dogs that we, as a society, decided to allow to fly in the cabin with us instead of in some fucking cage with the luggage where they could be scared and possibly die. It started off with just little dogs who would fit in a carry on bag and you sometimes wouldn’t even notice. Now it feels like anything goes and that is okay. One time I was flying to Denver and the woman next to me had an emotional support dog that was part chocolate lab and part hound. He probably weighed 60lbs. He had his own seat, but stayed on the floor. It was the best flight I’ve ever taken in my life. I asked the flight attendant for peanuts and ice cubes and made a new best friend. What is this guy afraid of? The dog is going to lick him to death? That he might have to give out boops? Even if lets say you are a monster who doesn’t like dogs and gets seated next to one. Just asked the flight attendant to switch seats. Even the people in first class will be lining up to take your spot.
Secondly, what if some crazy person actually takes bees on a plane because of what Keller did to prove a point? I can not imagine a scarier scenario. Make no mistake, bees get loose on a plane and that thing is crashing 100% of the time. One time I was driving on the highway a giant wasp crawled out of my air vent on the dashboard. Opened the windows. The thing wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t look at the road. Driving with a bee/wasp/hornet in your car is way more dangerous drinking or texting. Now multiply that by a billion with a swarm of bees at 30k feet and a pressurized cabin. Can’t imagine bees like pressurized cabins, or crying babies, or being in the middle seat. Before you know it you’re careening down in a death spiral of some bad Samuel L Jackson movie script all because some asshole didn’t like good boys and good girls on the plane. Throw him in jail for terrorism.