NFL Reporter (And Certified Rocket) Jane Slater Caught Her Boyfriend Cheating When They Sync'ed Their FitBits And His Activity Levels Started Spiking On The App At 4 AM

Kmarko12/09/2019 5:47 PM

I mentioned this last week in my blog about the Wash Po food critic who accidentally outed a cheating husband — the fact anyone thinks they can get away with cheating in the year of our Lord 2019 is OUTRAGEOUS.

I mean it's maybe possible if you're like, Amish farmers who don't believe in technology and have no access to smartphones and Wifi…MAYBE. But if you are two people anywhere even remotely on the grid, it is just physically and humanly impossible to get away with anything. The days of just deleting your texts and cookies and web history and wiping your email inboxes are long gone. Around every corner there is a piece of tech that is documenting every move your cheating ass makes.

NFL reporter Jane Slater (I'm a huge fan — Jane, sup?) revealed piece of evidence #2,893: the FitBit.

Tip for all the cheaters out there — if you're planning on meeting up with your sidepiece, make sure you didn't give your girl at home direct access to your physical activity levels, because when you sneak out at 4 AM on a Saturday night and your heart rate starts spiking for exactly 90 seconds followed by a deep sleep…it's going to be tough to convince her you were being chased through the streets by a serial killer or just having a really, really inspired political debate with your buddies at the bar.

Slater piggybacked off of Breer's tweet and said she was appreciative when an ex-boyfriend bough her a FitBit for Christmas one year.
Although she 'loved' the FitBit, she didn't start to regret the gesture until her ex-boyfriend's physical activity levels mysteriously began to spike around 4am one morning.
She said: 'An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas. I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other… didn’t hate it until he was unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app.'
She continued: 'wish the story wasn’t real.' [Daily Mail]

Hey there's two sides to every story — maybe she was a terrible girlfriend who treated him like shit?

I mean the FitBit is a huge mistake — but your biggest mistake is cheating on a certified rocket like Slater in the first place.