A Bunch Of Wankers In The UK Voted "All I Want For Christmas Is You" As The Most Annoying Christmas Song

Variety- As radio stations everywhere turn to an all-Christmas format, what song would listeners most like to jingle all the way to oblivion? That question remains unsettled in America, but over in the U.K., a poll has singled out Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” as the most annoying holiday song ever. The mobile phone company Huawei conducted the survey. 

The full survey results for Britain’s most annoying Christmas song:

1. All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey
2. Do They Know It’s Christmas? – Band Aid
3. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday – Wizzard
4. Merry Xmas Everybody – Slade
5. Last Christmas – Wham!
6. Fairytale of New York – The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl
7. Baby It’s Cold Outside – Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews
8. Santa Claus is Coming to Town – Jackson 5
9. Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt
10. Jingle Bells – Andrews Sisters

First of all, credit to me for not using the hard C word when describing the blokes that gave the greatest Christmas song ever such a disrespectful title since it's not a problematic word when said in an English accent. Also credit to me for not saying British people wouldn't know taste if it walked into their house and seasoned the slop they call food. What I will say is that the entire United Kingdom is rebuked, from England to *checks Wikipedia page* Scotland to *checks Wikipedia page again* Wales to *checks Wikipedia page one last time* Northern Ireland and any other little castles, ladies, or lords in the obnoxiously-named United Kingdom.

The people that had "All I Want For Christmas Is You" anywhere on their ballot for the most annoying holiday song over tunes about Christmas hippos or donkeys (no offense Dominic) or any of the auto skip songs from this time of year are no better than the people that turned away Mary and Joseph that fateful night roughly 2000 years ago and forced them to have a baby amongst the animals in a fucking manger. In fact, you can say those tossers are even worse because at least Baby Jesus boosted his immunity to germs to God levels from the jump by being born around a bunch of filthy animals while all Mariah's classic has done is put billions of people in a great mood the millisecond they hear those 13 little chimes, regardless of what time of year it is played since it's the only Christmas song that can and should be played 365 days a year.

I know that the internet is the place where people go to say great things like Thanksgiving, The Beatles, The Godfather, and The Wire are actually bad. But slandering Mariah's classic just as Christmas season kicks off is an attack on a holiday, the art of music, and if we are being honest, the entire Christian religion.

As for the rest of the list, I can't really argue with most of it since there are a bunch of annoying songs by ironically a bunch of Brits. But I will not let the Jackson 5 slander go unchecked because Lil MJ belting his lungs out about Santa Claus' fat ass coming to town is legendary, no matter how much of a creep Big MJ ended up being.