Deion Sanders, Potential FSU Head Coach and All Time Great Rapper

JackMac blogged this news last night.  Just like he said, I spent like 10 mins examining Rapoport’s tweet to make sure it wasn’t Barry McCockiner.  It’s Friday, I don’t want to deal with Dente and Eddie at 3:30pm central time this afternoon.  Fuck.  That.

I think everyone would agree that this would be an absolute train wreck of a move.  Now I am not going to bother looking this up and will be doing z.e.r.o. fact checking, but I’m pretty sure Neon Deion has z.e.r.o. coaching experience.  Like none at all.  But sure, let’s hand him the keys to one of the biggest jobs in college football!  Fucking idiots.

Actually, F that.  I will do some research.  He’s called plays for his son’s HS team for two years, per this google screen shot:

But ya know what he could do should he land one of the top jobs in all of college football?  He could resonate with recruits.  Not because he’s some great salesman or coach, which are two of the most important qualifications of ya know, coaching college sports… but because he’s an all time great rapper.  17-18 year olds love rap.  Shout out to my good friend Beefloaf for the reminder:

Oh hey Blue Chip Recruit, come play for FSU!  Sure, I’m one of the greatest athletes of all time but more importantly I also made it to #70 on the R&B/Hip Hop charts in 1994, we’ll win a ton of football games blaring my music in the locker room before games.  Fuck Trevor Lawrence!

– Deion Sanders, probably

One of the GOAT athletes?  Check.  Duffle bags of cash (probably) dropped off at recruits’ doorsteps?  Check.  All time great rapper?  Check and mate.  It’d be just like the movie  ‘The Program’, but in real life.

So without further ado, (re) introducing some of the finest music in music history:

Just kidding.  This music is so awful.  Like beyond bad.  Here’s the link to the full album.   Per Wikipedia, the album received “universally negative reviews” which is exactly what would happen if he were to be named FSU’s head coach.

I need this to happen.  We ALL need this to happen.  I looooove watching train wrecks from a distance.  Just get to point and laugh.