'Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker' Monday Night Football Trailer Rapid Reaction

HOLY FUCK. THAT WAS INTENSE.

Alright, I’m not going to unpack everything tonight – my frame-by-frame breakdown will be published tomorrow morning, but just some quick thoughts? Wow.

-We’ve now seen Rey training on this planet in a couple trailers. Could it be Endor? Maybe Yavin IV? Who knows. I’m into it, though. Show me how much Rey has improved all her skills since ‘The Last Jedi’, given the time jump.

-Rey scavenging on the Death Star is gonna mirror her introduction from ‘The Force Awakens’ so well. This shot is dope.

-AIN’T NOBODY FUCKIN WITH MY CLIQUE!!! CLIQUE!!! CLIQUE!!!

-Oh we’re talkin bout the TANTIVE IV UP IN THIS MOTHAFUCKA!!!

-This shot of Kylo Ren appearing out of the mist/waves was the coolest shit I’ve ever seen, UNTIL…

-THE THRONE ROOM! HOLY SHIT!

-If this is what I think it is, The Emperor’s new throne, it reminds me a TON of Ralph McQuarrie’s early concept art for the throne in ‘Return of the Jedi’.

-This is entirely too many ships in one area. Gonna have to spread it out boys.

-Dafuq is this about? Threepio sacrificing himself here? Is Anthony fuckin Daniels really gonna get tears outta me? I’m predicting this to be a fake-out, though. We’ve seen him with Chewbacca’s bowcaster and Rey’s staff in promotional images. I bet that fuck Babu Frick accidentally reprograms him as a combat droid or something like Episode II.

-Finally, it’s just always nice to see The General, and on her birthday, no less.

We miss ya, Carrie!

Obviously, this trailer was pretty vague, even by Star Wars standards, and I fucking love that. I’m gonna go watch it a thousand more times and start my full length breakdown for tomorrow morning now, so look out for that!