That $5B Meadowlands-Monstrosity Is Finally Set To Open After Nearly 23 Years In The Making

I’ve been living in NYC on & off since 2013, and during countless trips back & forth from the Philly area with various friends & family I’ve heard the same thing uttered time & time again. As we cruise through the meadowlands complex on the NJ Turnpike people can’t help but utter,

Eghhhh…. What is that thing?

or

God, that thing’s just been sitting there for-eh-verrrr.

Exactly how long has it been sitting there?

In true New Jersey bureaucratic fashion it’s been about 23 years since the initial proposals, and nearly 10 years’ worth of construction, contract changes, financial bailouts, and dropped developers in the making. (Plus some Feds & a ‘lil illegal activity here & there.)

Clocking in around 3M sqft. the mega-mall & entertainment complex was initially called ‘Xanadu’. Now it’s the American Dream and people who’ve been staring at it’s odd metal shell for years are ready.

From CNBC:

What makes the $5 billion American Dream’s opening so highly anticipated is its labyrinthine history. It was first envisioned in 1996 and has had several owners. Had you driven past it on the New Jersey Turnpike nearly a decade ago, you might recall a multicolored eyesore that the then-governor called one of the ugliest buildings in the state and maybe even the country rather than a massive shopping entertainment complex.

Because its timeline has been so drawn out, American Dream has quite literally been shaped as the retail industry has been flipped on its head. When ground was broken in 2004, under the project’s original developers, Amazon’s ascent was just beginning. Circuit City, Sports Authority, Blockbuster, RadioShack and Toys R Us were still in business.

Fast forward to 2019, as American Dream opens, store closures are piling up, shopping is pivoting online and many of the retailers that haven’t been nimble enough to navigate the turbulent landscape have been forced to file for bankruptcy.

Sounds promising. From the American Dream site, here’s what you can expect for the openings:

Opening on Oct 25th:

Nickelodeon Universe Theme Park:

The Shredder, The Shellraiser and Nickelodeon’s Skyline Scream, come to life when the Western Hemisphere’s largest indoor theme park opens on October 25th. The park features over 35 rides, rollercoasters and attractions for families and thrill-seekers, both young and young at heart.

Not going to lie, in the miserable doldrums of NYC Winter I can see myself actually enjoying that section.

The Rink At American Dream:

American Dream’s NHL-regulation size ice rink features activities for the entire family, including open skating, figure skating, hockey tournaments, events and more.

Imagine your child throwing a tantrum over rental skates that don’t fit *perfectly* in this state of the art facility. Top notch.

Opening Nov 27th:

Dreamworks Waterpark:

Immerse yourself in Madagascar’s Rain Forest, Shrek’s Swamp and the Kung Fu Panda Zone within North America’s largest indoor water park. Over 40 water slides and 15 amazing attractions, from SurfRiders to the lazy river. Catch the PerfectSwell in our 1.5-acre wave pool – the largest in the world, go to extremes when you drop 142 feet on the world’s tallest indoor body slide or lounge in one of our 31 luxury cabanas designed by New Jersey-native Jonathan Adler.

I imagine the filtration system on that pool will be able to handle an enormous amount of used bandaids. Great news because I will 100% be making a trip to nap on the lazy river. (Hopefully this place sells booze?)

Opening Dec 5th:

The Slopes at Big SNOW:

Ski and snowboard 365 days a year at North America’s only indoor real-snow park. Big SNOW is big fun for the entire family – from bunny hill beginners to black diamond experts, and everyone in between.

Please note that even indoors, you’re going to have a bad time if you pizza when you’re supposed to French fry (and vice versa).

And of course there’s also a mall opening with over 350 shops. ::Insert jokes here about a wife shopping while the husband is stuck in line at the theme park with the kiddos ha ha::

Overall I’d say that’s $5B well spent despite the whole ‘info indicating these types of places are dying out’. I’m sure the American Dream will pull through as it always does. Right? Right?? (For all my skepticism, opening day for the theme park & ice rink are already sold out…)

And now that they’ve sorted this monstrosity out I have all the faith in the world that they’ll be able to manage putting up a giant curtain or something so we don’t have to see the other meadowlands eyesore from the highway.