The Greatest Buzzer Beater Shot Happened At 11:59pm Last Night

Like many, I was person 1 yesterday. I don't see why you wouldn't! It's not easy for a 120-pound Joaquin Phoenix stunt double to pick up chicks, literally. So why not use October 10th, November 10th, and December 12th as an advantage in the dating app game.

I spent all day going through my career high 207 matches and chose the best of the best to throw an alley oop to. Unfortunately, not many women can dunk so I knew this would be tough. Hours and hours went by and not one notification popped up. It wasn't until around 8pm when my phone buzzed.

It was just Mother Mantis. At this point, I thought this was a sign that my Mom was and always will be the one no matter what to love and care for me. Besides, I've been inside my Mom before so it's not like this is awkward for any of us.

Just before I went to bed 10Mg of melatonin deep, the notification I've been waiting for finally arrived.

I've watched the ending to the 1983 NCAA Basketball Championship, I've witnessed LeBron hitting the game winner against Orlando in 2009. But I have never seen an athlete like Emily end a game that lasted as long as cricket. I don't know how to respond to her rhetorical question, but I do know that I may have found the one.