Belichick's Breakdown of the Redskins Game is Pure Patriots Porn

You know, I try to catch these Bill Belichick film breakdowns every week. Because why wouldn’t you? How often do you get to hear the smartest man ever at his craft share his knowledge? If you had the chance listen to Einstein explain physics, Patton discuss battlefield strategy, Spielberg talk about filmmaking or get a lesson in acting and music from Hasselhoff, you should take it. Otherwise, what’s this all been about?

And yet even with that, I feel like in general, Belichick holds back in these things. He’s not about to give away the secrets of the universe he’s been developing since he was breaking down reel-to-reel film of Army at his father’s side when he was 7. Typically you’ll find him just throwing you crumbs in the form of punts and kickoffs and saves the truly insightful stuff for the team meetings.

But then, every once in a while, he lets you in a little bit. Where he himself is so impressed by one of his own discoveries that he pulls back the curtain and is willing to share it with the world. Like Bell inventing the phone or Musk’s reusable rockets. Or the way that alleged guy who allegedly invented the engine that gets 100 miles to a gallon would have if the alleged oil companies hadn’t allegedly had him whacked.

Anyway, this was just such a moment. I posted this the other day, about the touchdown pass to Brandon Bolden that proves Brady is a time traveler.

And what makes this week’s Belichick Breakdown such a great example of Patriots Erotica is the minute detail he goes into about what made it work, how the pre-snap short motion got Washington to switch their coverage and rush among four defenders, how Brady recognized exactly what was going to develop and how he was able to identify and move away from the blitzer before dropping in the perfect pass for the play. And how? Because they worked on it. Because it was the last rep they’d run in practice that week. And so just as you get the money shot of that end zone view of the touchdown, and while you’re still in your refractory period, he comes back with the practice tape. And you’re ready to go again. Back on the launchpad like one of Musk’s aforementioned rockets.

The rest of the video is very worthwhile. The blocking scheme that went into Sony Michel’s long run and Dont’a Hightower reading Colt McCoy’s bootleg and blowing up the play. But you can just tell that the pass to Bolden is the one he couldn’t wait to show us. And one that I can watch again and again.

If next week’s segment on the Belistrator is this good, they’re going to have to make you confirm you’re 18 before they let you watch it.