What The Hell Is IUPUI Feeding These Kids??

As an IUPUI alumni, I wake up every morning and say the same phrases. “Why God?” and “It’s a great day to be a Jaguar”. Only a select number of students have been accepted into a school that George Hill built, Jeff Vibbert attended, and Young Mantis innovated. It’s a privilege to go to IUPUI, but an honor to eat at the Dining Hall without digesting worms, getting shot, or dropping out these past 2 months.

Believe it or not, the best meal at the IUPUI Dining Hall is our annual “Finals Week Breakfast for Dinner Special”. Average pancakes, rubber bacon, and cold eggs slapped different after 7pm. But the next best meal you can get is broccoli and worms. As a Jaguar, a one-time instance is normal. But 2 times? That’s pushing it. At this point, we might as well serve the nasty patty from SpongeBob!

Next we got a hair (maybe) in a crouton. Why are all the healthy options being contaminated with insects and human DNA? Thanks Michelle.

This is my favorite case of them all. Seeing the delicious breadstick stand followed by a pile of Santa’s coal for the naughty list coming up this year. Another reason that Kilroy’s owns the breadstick game in Indy.

And finally, the last straw. After months of serving the worst food imaginable, there has to be someone to blame for poising the children. Why wait till 9pm to watch some boxing when you can get lunch and entertainment combined at the Tower Dining? I love how the one girl pulls out her phone to see if it was time to punch out of her shift.

What was once a hotel and the official home for the New York Giants during Super Bowl 46 is now a failed health inspection waiting to happen. I don’t miss the food at IUPUI, but I miss the free entertainment that came with my tuition. Welcome to IUPUI, where your dreams die. Go Jags.