Barstool’s Champions League Preview/Picks – Matchday 2a (aka Big Bad Bayern vs Teeny Tiny Tottenham)
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WE BACK!
My god. It’s beautiful.
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CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Scores from the first matchday:
Handful of unexpected results and anybody coming away from the first two group stage games with zero points is up shit-creek without a paddle. That adds a little pressure to some clubs – eg, Real Madrid, Chelsea and Liverpool – but it’s still waaaaaaaaaaay too early for anybody to hit the panic button just yet. (Except Genk, they should probably mash the muh-effer.) Lotta soccer to be played.
Anyway the group tables now look like this:
And the schedule for today’s games (and those on deck tomorrow):
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TUESDAY’S PICKS
Tottenham [+220]
Bayern [+110]
Draw [+275]
On paper this looks like an extremely even matchup aside from Bayern having a little more talent and a lot more experience, and coming into the game in better form to boot. Ze Germans have returned to their old ways of mostly rolling through the Bundesliga, and dominated Red Star last time out in Champions League. Also, let’s just say that visits to North London in the past have not exactly been a big problem for the Bavarian giants.
Spurs, on the other hand, have been hemorrhaging points in the EPL and UCL, and found a way to get knocked out of the Make-Belieague Cup by something called Colchester. Suffice to say not a banner couple weeks.
The thing is, though, that while Tottenham have a long and storied track record of shitting the bed at excruciatingly bad times… they also seem to always come up biggest when you least expect it. Just this past weekend the club showed glimpses of getting back to the aggressive, fast-paced side that made it to the Champions League final this season – right up until Serge Aurier’s brain broke (not for the first time) and they had to play down a man for the last hour of the game.
Southampton ain’t exactly Bayern, of course, but these are the games that Tottenham tend to come up biggest in. Plus, while expecting anybody to shut Lewandowski down is a bit silly, Spurs have the kind of fast and physical CBs that could at least limit Bayern’s biggest weapon up top. Should be a fun, open back-and-forth game that neither team would feel too disappointed about taking a point from. Assuming Hugo Lloris’ BAC is below the legal limit (granted, a big time gamble these days it seems), gimme a 1-1 draw.
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Lokomotiv Moscow [+450]
Atletico Madrid [-140]
Draw [+240]
Crucial game for determining how Group D is going to play out. Tough not to be a little enticed by the odds on the Russkis at home. Lokomotiv walked into Leverkusen and came away with a win on the first matchday, after all… though the stats are a bit deceiving as the Germans controlled the game and gifted the game away on some big defensive blunders. Atletico clearly have a lot more talent but they have yet to really find their groove offensively, and have looked just plain off in two of their last three games (against Celta and Real Madrid). I can’t shake the feeling that the Russkis are really gonna give them a battle today, and those odds look prettttttttttty tasty. In the end though I’m a wuss. Atletico to win 2-1.
“Hey Sam, what’s the difference between you and a real man?”
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Some additional picks to increase the statistical chances that I eventually get one right maybe:
• CITY 4-2 Dinamo – Easily could have been the second highlighted game of the day up above as both clubs come in off dominant wins and are looking to grab Group C by the – um – balls. City are missing most of their CBs and KDB, and Dinamo may end up being hugely underestimated (they are, after all, running through the Croatian league like a hot knife through duck butter). This may be the most lively match of the day… but I think City just has too damn much firepower.
• ATALANTA 3-2 Shakhtar – The Italians have been a little all over the place this season, highlighted by their bed-shitting performance on the first matchday against Dinamo where they got ran off the field. I really don’t know what to expect from them but Shakhtar didn’t put up much of a fight against City and the Hotalantans (when not being racist) are a great story.
• JUVENTUS 1-0 Bayer – Zese (Uzzer) Germans have some exciting young talent but unless/until they show [a lot] more than they have so far I’m deferring to whichever team Ronny is playing in… this is the Champions League, after all, and anytime the cameras are on so is our boy.
• GALATASARAY 1-0 psg – The Frenchies offered their best performance of the season against Real Madrid last time out but I’ve got a dirty little secret for you and only you… I’m gonna whisper it so nobody else hears
PSG HAVE LOW KEY SUCKED! On the road? In Turkey? Sounds like an L waiting to happen, fam. (Also: this is going to tooooooootally jinx it but this game smells like an under just dying to happen based on both clubs’ recent offensive outputs.)
• Madrid 2-2 Brugge – Can’t say I love Madrid but they have been better lately. I would say that the Belgians might be primed for an upset… but their rather limp-wristed effort at home against Galatasaray in the first matchday kinda scares me. Meh, screw it. Let’s go for the gusto.
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Reminder: More Champions League tomorrow!
Holler,
Samuel Army