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A Mets Fan Is Suing The Mets Because He Got Blasted In The Face By A T-Shirt Cannon And Almost Went Blind

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ABC- A Mets fan who says he was nearly blinded by a flying T-shirt at a Mets baseball game is suing the team for damages and is asking the ballpark to stop using T-shirt guns during games. According to the lawsuit filed in Queens County Supreme Court late last week, Alex Swanson was “severely injured” by a T-shirt cannon during the June 5, 2019 home game against the San Francisco Giants.
Swanson says a T-shirt cannon sent a T-shirt flying into his face while he watched the game with his children, causing him to temporarily lose consciousness and suffer a detached retina. The lawsuit accuses the ballpark of “negligence, recklessness and carelessness” and alleges Swanson suffered permanent damage to his vision and his eye.

As if the Mets have not unleashed enough carnage on their fans’ eyes with their play on the field over the years, they are now literally coming for our eyeballs and trying to turn us into Blindos as Mr. Met bucks shots with a shirt bazooka in Citi Field while Lazy Mary plays in the background. What a fucked up franchise.

I have come to grips with the mental damage the Wilpons and the 25 men employed by them will inflict upon my soul. But the physical stuff is where I draw the line. Sure, part of me wishes I was blind so I didn’t have to watch Edwin Diaz melt down like Chernobyl in Dodger Stadium or Dom Smith drop a can o’ corn to lose to the Giants or for 6 Nationals to cross the plate in the 9th inning of the worst blown save in franchise history. But I would rather have my peepers working for the other 200 or so glorious days when there is no Mets baseball being played instead of having to go through the rest of my life riding my seeing-eye dog with shades on (h/t KFC). Being a Mets fan is hard enough. But being a blind Mets fan is just unfair. Hopefully this guy wins his suit and takes the Wilpons for every cent they have so one day Mets fans will be able to watch a big market ballclub in Queens again.

Also not to brag, but I’ve caught at least 5 free Mets shirts over the course of my life and given them all away. Is it because I wouldn’t have been fit into any of them because I’ve been bigger than a Large since 5th grade? Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck yourself.