Holy Shit, I Think Pete Alonso Just Got Seinfeld Rebooted!
I say this completely seriously with not a hint of hyperbole. If Pete Alonso actually brings back Seinfeld, not only will he become the figurative King of New York, but he may become the actual Mayor as well because there is nothing that New Yorkers (at least my age and older) loved more than Seinfeld. Not even the 27 RINGGGGGS knucklehead Yankees fans could argue with that type of logic. Shit, there’s even a chance Pete will win the NL MVP Award to go along with his inevitable Rookie of the Year because I think you have to lump baseball writers into that group of Seinfeld superfans as well.
I know Pete filling the gigantic shoes of Keith Hernandez as The Boyfriend would be tough. But I have zero doubts in my mind he would come through in the clutch yet again and crush the role like he crushed a billion baseballs this year. You could even pencil in Edwin Diaz and Jeurys Familia as the first and second spitters.
I’m not sure how the rest of the reboot would be cast since Michael Richards was cancelled years before Cancel Culture existed and the rest of the cast is getting up there in age. However, I think we can all agree that Julia Louis-Dreyfus has the role of Elaine if she wants it because she IS Elaine, as well as an ageless human.
As for the scripts, Jerry doesn’t even need to worry about being super creative or even racking his brain. Him and Larry David can just “borrow” a few ideas from that Seinfeld Today Twitter handle and just wait for the checks to hit the bank account to keep them at an ungodly level of rich for the rest of their lives followed by enough residual checks of Seinfeld 1.0 and Seinfeld 2.0 to keep their families at an ungodly level of rich until the year 3000.
The fact that this is even a remote possibility shows the immense power of Pete Alonso goes well beyond exit velocity and all the other pretty boy things Statcast can measure. You know why? Because he’s Pete Alonso.
Long live the king.
