Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Who Gave Himself A Banana Facial That Caused His Eye To Explode?

As many of you know, many moons ago I tried to start a beauty trend for men by giving myself a nice facial lathering of banana. Since then I’ve been suffering from banana induced pinkeye. Well, it all came to a head today, folks. I looked under my eyelid and there was this big pimple looking thing so I pushed it with a q-tip and all hell broke loose. Blood. Puss. Oil. All of it streaming down my face. Thankfully it doesn’t hurt. It’s just irritated now.

I’m gonna be fine though. Don’t worry about that, friends. I’m just out here at the doctor and the only thing that is helping me is the fact that if our beloved leader can get through 3 bee stings, I can get through this. Semper Fi.

To help my recovery process make sure you subscribe to Zero Blog Thirty’s Youtube channel. And then make sure to listen to tomorrow’s episode where we have a WWII aerial gunner who survived THREE plane crashes. Puts the injury to my ol’ eyeballarooni into perspective.