The Air Force Maintained Security Of Area 51 Despite Possibly Being Distracted By Dem Cheeks

We’ve been talking about this situation for a while now. Im glad that it’s finally over and our beloved Air Force Defenders can finally rest easy. The nerds will leave them alone. It’s about time.

When I was in Japan, I would occasionally get assigned to do bomb searches at the gate. It fucking stunk because it was the most boring job you could possibly imagine. For the most part, Okinawans are the nicest people in the world. You dont have to lock your doors there. You can leave your keys in your car. It’s great.

But, lots of them don’t like Americans taking up their beautiful land. Understandable. If you’ve never seen it, it looks like this.

Because they wanted us to leave, they would have protests. They were so nice, however, that they would let us know the time and date that they would be coming and they never had their buttcheeks swaying in the wind like the kind lady above. I would have been distracted if they did because I love buttcheeks! Credit to the Air Force for doing their job unlike this Marine would have.