The Brown Line Somehow Crashed Into The Purple Line Yesterday

brownline

Didn’t even know this was possible to be honest. Never once boarded the L and thought “hopefully we don’t smash into another train on our way there.” Just one of those things you never knew you had to worry about. Always assumed the operator had it in the bag and that we’d be good without any backseat conducting. Here I stand corrected.

The train operator’s excuse might be the most absurd part about this whole freak show:

So basically you didn’t see it coming? I mean I don’t want to turn this into an I-Team investigation, but if you’re a train operator you’re looking straight ahead the whole time. You literally have no choice but to see it coming. Even if you’re staring at your phone it’s hard not to catch an oncoming train in your peripherals. Not to mention this is the Brown Line we’re talking about here. Thing clocks in at maybe 5 mph. Literally the slowest form of transportation in the city. For whatever reason the entire rail is basically a Slow Zone so you’re pretty much crawling to your destination every time. When you’re taking it and running late to work it’s like being trapped in a torture chamber. I’m truly surprised it was able to even cause any damage to the Purple Line train.

We haven’t even discussed the part about some of the victims falling face-flat onto the train floor, nor do I know if we should. Joking aside that’s Patient Zero stuff right there. I think by law you’re allowed to take the day off after that. Maybe take some time to get a couple things amputated then try again tomorrow.

PS- How about this guy having 1 less train wreck on his record than that Brown Line conductor?

@DannyJConrad