Is It Okay To Put Ketchup Directly On The Fast Food Tray?
We’ve spent a good time this week talking about White Sox Dave behavior patterns and for good reason. Some of this stuff is borderline pre-crime serial killer stuff. Allegedly:
#1 Carl – I Can’t Get Over How Close WhiteSoxDave Sits Next To Eddie In Our Shithole Office
#2 Eddie – Sadly The Rumors About Whitesoxdave Sitting On The Same Side Of The Booth Are True
#3 WSD – Addressing The Rumors That I’m A Same Side Of The Booth Guy
#4 Carl – I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Picture Of WhiteSoxDave And Eddie At The Red Sox Game
Truth be told it doesn’t really matter so long as he’s not sitting next to me. What matters is that we’re curbing behavior and helping WhiteSoxDave 2.0 emerge in lockstep with the White Sox rebuild. From the ashes will rise a Phoenix of conscionable social behavior as exhibited by this video captured yesterday:
Dave had the choice to sit next to Intern Danny at the local Burger King but instead chose to sit on the opposite side of the booth. Big deal or not, watching WSD execute standard booth operating procedure was a major win for White Sox fans everywhere. 2020 is around the corner and we need the SoxSide firing on all cylinders. That includes bloggers learning how to keep safe distances in close spaces.
But while celebrating this minor achievement, I noticed something quite startling.
WhiteSoxDave’s ketchup pile:
Alexa level 10 and enhance
Alright so about the size of a whopper and directly on the tray without a french fry in sight. So much to unpack:
1. Is that too much ketchup?
2. Is it okay to put ketchup on your tray?
3. If a tray is okay, is that good ketchup distribution?
4. Where are the French Fries?
I’ll take it one by one.
Is That Too Much Ketchup? Believe it or not, I know that ketchup dispenser and it’s a Big Boi. Real fuckin big. That very well could be one full pump from WSD no joke. It’s an industrial ketchup pump. That said, you gotta be a psycho to watch that much ketchup come out when you’re rocking double whopper. I don’t understand what kind of motivations it takes to distribute that much ketchup. There’s no fry. No hashbrown. No small village of ketchup starved children. It’s just WSD, 2 whoppers, and a hockey puck of ketchup.
Answer: regardless of distribution variables, that’s too much ketchup.
Is It Okay To Put Ketchup On Your Tray? I mean who the fuck am I to act all big and tough like I don’t go ketchup on tray. I do all the time and I know it’s a savage move. I watch the ketchup oil seep through the low-grade recycled tray paper and you know what? I like it when the paper gets cold and moist. That’s my sweetspot and I don’t care. Those mini paper ketchup cups are fucking bullshit. Give me some decent circumference one time.
Answer: you can go ketchup to tray but you gotta admit you’re a sick fuck in the process.
If a tray is okay, is that good ketchup distribution?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Cutting it wayyyyyy too close to the border for my comfort. I recognize you don’t go right down broadway here and load up the center but same time you can’t nibble at the corners like Jamie Moyer. Throw the fucking ball over the plate.
Answer: brutal
Where Are the French Fries? I have a theory.
Answer: White Sox Dave is training for the marathon and empty carbs will slow him down. Spin Zone not a bad move.