Pigeon Shits On State Rep As He's Discussing The City's Pigeon Shit Problem
Sun-Times – A pigeon apparently didn’t think much of a lawmaker’s ideas to address a messy situation at a Chicago Transit Authority stop known by some as “pigeon poop station.” WBBM-TV reports that one of the birds did its business on the head of Democratic state Rep. Jaime Andrade as he was discussing the problem with a reporter outside of the Irving Park Blue Line station. They did. The sidewalks outside of the station are covered in bird waste and feathers. Andrade has been trying to fix the problem. One of his ideas is to ask the CTA to install a hose line for power washing when it constructs new escalators at the stop.
The “pigeon poop station” they’re talking about here, shout out Irving Park Blue Line, is actually the one I frequent most and I can confirm that this place is constantly under aerial attack. You’re either getting a dump on your head or dodging one in Matrix fashion 60% of the time every time. They should almost require hard hats for anyone passing through at this point. It’s so horrendous I’ve contemplated bringing an umbrella so I wouldn’t end up like our guy:
That one’s on Jaime for not wearing any hazmat attire while he was STANDING STILL in a pigeon layer. Human sacrifice. But sometimes you gotta get a little dirty to prove your point so I get it.
I don’t know which part of the ecosystem will fail or whatever if we cancel pigeons, but I’m willing to find out. Between their IBS and whatever medieval plaques they’re carrying, I can’t see how we’re benefiting in any shape or formation from these things. “They’re actually really smart animals!” What are they gonna do my taxes? Then how are these geniuses helping me by being sMaRT? Listen I’m not calling for a mass genocide or anything, but I wouldn’t mind an early extinction. Imagine what an even better city this could be without explosive diarrhea covering half of it.
