Kate Beckinsale Goes Blonde in Her Relentless Quest for World Domination

Kate Beckinsale turned 46 last month. And if you’re under the delusion she’s got any let up in her game, you’d better think again. She’s Tiger at Pebble in 2000, up by a dozen strokes but still hitting driver off the tee and aiming for the pins. She’s Secretariat at the Belmont, pulling away down the stretch, “moving like a tremendous machine.” And like that magnificent, thoroughbred champion, of her we can also say her only point of reference is herself.

I’ve long felt like I was in on the ground floor of Kate Beckinsale. When she played Hero in Kenneth Branagh’s “Much Ado About Nothing” at the age of 20. And like a standout college prospect, I got a sense of her future greatness. Which she delivered on and has maintained longer than anyone could’ve ever projected.

And you know how I measure her greatness? According to my personal preferences? By the fact she has gone blonde and still not lost a step. It might be an unpopular opinion, but I’ll take the brunette 99.9% of the time. Jessica Alba is better in anything than she was as Sue Storm in those subpar “Fantastic Four” movies. I’ll take brunette or redhead Scarlett Johannson over blonde Scarlett Johansson. And even though it’s a close call, brunette Emilia Clarke narrowly edges out Khalessi-wigged Emilia Clarke. It’s a matter of personal tastes.

So if Beckinsale had asked my opinion (which is not too big an ask), I would’ve advised against the switch. Why change when you’re already as good as there has ever been in the game? But it’s a testament to her talent, strength and determination that she can be this versatile, this much of a two-way player.

So let her example be an inspiration to you all, ladies. This is what 46 can be like. This is the new standard. What everyone should aspire to be.

Hell, she’s so good, even Walder Frey can’t diminish her shining radiance.

All that said, when this acting job is over, she can go back to her old self any time, thanks.