Sorrey For False Advertising: Red Bull Will Be Giving $10 To Any Canadian Who Bought A Red Bull In The Past 12 Years And Didn't Actually Get Wings
Source – It seems obvious that drinking Red Bull will not actually “give you wings” as stated in the company’s famous slogan.
But those who felt misled by the energy drink’s advertising may be able to get some compensation for not experiencing enhanced performance after consuming the beverage.
The company has agreed to pay $850,000 after settling a Canadian class-action lawsuit filed by Michael Attar in February 2019. The case is based on a similar US class action settlement filed in 2013 by a pair of consumers who claimed that drinking Red Bull does not give you “wings” or result in improved performance…As part of the settlement, Canadian consumers who purchased the drink between January 1, 2007, to July 23, 2019, could be eligible to a $10 compensation from the settlement.
Those greasy, greasy canucks. They’re something else, man, I’ll tell you that.
Imagine being the guy right now who came up with the slogan “it gives you wings”. You think that son of a bitch has been fired yet? I’d be FUMING if I were him. It’s a great slogan, no doubt. It’s catchy and everybody knows exactly what brand you’re talking about if you say it. But now that the company has to shell out $850,000 all because a bunch of bozos up north couldn’t take a joke and thought you were serious about the whole “gives you wings” thing? Talk about one of your all time backfires. Here you were thinking you were the most important person at the company for the last 12 years, and turns out all you did was get your company sued for about a quick million dollars. Might want to pay close attention to the next few paychecks after this one because that money has to come from somewhere.
But yeah, this is a nice little way to head into the weekend if you’re a Canadian. I mean who hasn’t purchased a Red Bull since January 1, 2007? Pretty sure that as long as you’ve had a pulse at some point between then and now, you’ve grabbed at least one of them. So now you get to head into your weekend with a quick $10. And if you play your cards right, you could turn that $10 into $20. If you want to get crazy, that $20 could be $40. By the end of the weekend, who knows where that $40 could take you? You could be a millionaire by next week and it’s all because you were a fucking dolt who thought that drinking a Red Bull would actually give you wings. Small price to pay to become a millionaire.
With that being said, you probably could have been a millionaire way sooner if you actually did have wings. I feel like all superheroes make a significant amount of bank. So I’d still be a little salty with just the $10 to start.