Martin Gramatica Offers His Kicking Coaching Services To Carli Lloyd, SIGN ME UP

Be afraid, NFL kickers … Martin Gramatica says after USWNT star Carli Lloyd hit a 55-yarder at Eagles’ practice Tuesday — she can legitimately take someone’s job and make a team’s roster!!!

After Lloyd showed off her insane leg at Philly’s workout this week … we had to give Gramatica a call to get his thoughts on her giant boot — and, no surprise, the guy was impressed.

We all saw Carli Lloyd bomb a 55 yarder the other day, but in case you didn’t here it is:

I mean sure she took like a dozen steps before actually kicking the ball but that’s semantics.  She drilled it.  And the Bears kicking situation is TOTALLY FUCKED right now, so if it Carli Lloyd can get coached up by Martin Automatica then sign me up.  Leave no stone unturned, even if that means plucking off a chick from the USWNT.

There are stories rolling in from the kickers that got cut over the course of the summer were bitching and moaning about how Matt Nagy handled their tryout.  Here are a few quotes via SI’s article interviewing kickers that tried out over summer:

All of Jamie’s guys, they could have shanked the kick, and it was like, Oh, you have really good rotation, your foot is wrapping around the ball,” says one kicker who was cut after rookie camp. “I don’t think this situation will be solved or will be what the team needs to be until Jamie Kohl is gone. The way he very much tries to control a room, tries to be the alpha.

Sounds exactly like something a total beta would say

It’s not efficient for the team to continuously beat that one dead horse the whole time,” Justin Yoon, one of nine kickers who worked out Chicago in rookie minicamp, told Kahler of the cult of the 43-yarder. “You have to build a system of confidence for your kicker. I don’t think that’s how the Bears are running it.

This quote I don’t disagree with.  Maybe the Bears should try their hardest to act like they forgot about the double doink. But at the same time the ENTIRE CITY is harping on the double doink to this day.  There really isn’t any avoiding it for Nagy, Bears prospective kickers/ Eddy Piniero and the Chicago Bears as a whole.  All eyes are on Bears kickers whether Justin Yoon likes it or not.  And Nagy said it himself: Is harping on the double doink a perfect science in finding a new kicker?  Maybe, maybe not.  But at least we’ll know soon enough whether Eddy Piniero can handle that pressure.  If not it’s back to the drawing board.

But I do know this: that whole USWNT had ice in their veins and that’s the number 1 qualification needed for Bears kickers at this point.  Someone with balls the size of my size 7 5/8 head.  Carli Lloyd doesn’t give a FUCK about the double doink, but it’s clearly in the back of all the dickheads that tried out for the Bears kicking position this summer.  So though it may sound like I’m speaking somewhat tongue in cheek here, if Carli Lloyd were hypothetically the best person for the job this year, I’m all in.  Because at this point I don’t give a flying fuck who it is.  Just make goddamn kicks.  The offense will be solid and the defense maybe the best in the NFL, so making kicks is what the entire season will boil down to.

PS – still one of the funniest injuries of all time, dgaf that it was his brother.  Oh and ironically enough… this was on a 43 yard attempt