This ASMR MRE Video Is An Abomination To The Lord And Dark Sided

I’m not a huge ASMR guy. I dont really get the appeal of it but Tommy and Marty Mush seem to have a great time filming theres so it cant be all bad. That being said, this one is all bad.

When you move on from the typical ASMR tropes like tapping and squshing the peanut butter or jalapeno cheese spread, you get to the part that makes me wanna throw up. Look at the fucking name of this MRE again. Why on earth would we do that to our own troops?

Vegetable Crumbles in pasta with a taco style sauce. Think about that for a minute. Think about walking in the woods during a training exercise. It’s hot as fuck and you just burned a shit ton of calories rucking for no real reason. So, you get to take a break for a few minutes and eat. 20 minutes. Everyone is gathered around the 7-ton vehicle that has boxes of MREs in the back. Two people from each platoon are sent to bring back two boxes each. You’re the boot so you have to wait until they are rat fucked in order to get yours. Beef stew. Gone. Spaghetti and meatballs. Gone. Country Captn Chicken with butter noodles. Gone. You have to eat the fucking Vegetable Crumbles in pasta with a taco-style sauce.

Now, I dont hate vegetarians on their face. There’s nothing wrong with not eating meat. I will say this though. Vegetarians RUINED MRE culture. Ever had the vegetarian omelet? Buddy, I would rather starve to death than eat that shit.

Moving on in the video, the sound that this taco style poo poo makes is so fucking GROSS that I had to turn the video off for a second or I was gonna lose my honey bunches of oats all over my keyboard.

The only saving grace to bad MRE packages like this one is the snacks. Usually, you can count on some M&Ms, SKittles, or even a bootleg protein bar. This one. This is the worst MRE I’ve ever seen. The only thing worth eating is the crackers and peanut butter and then the plain roasted peanuts. Double peanuts. Good luck being a vegetarian troop with a peanut allergy. Death city population you.