You'll Never Believe This But Studies Now Say That O'Hare Is The WORST Airport In America

ORD

Welcome to Chicago-OHare International Airport, the worst fucking place in the world to fly. And that is no longer an opinion. That is a fact according to this article from FinanceBuzz. They listed the 25 worst airports in terms of delays and ORD “won”.

ORD delays

O’Hare could be the absent from this list and it would still be the most stressful airport in America. From the time you hit the first rumble strips driving in on I-190 your blood pressure starts escalating. If you’re running late from traffic then you need to park in the expensive garage that has the levels named after sports teams that usually only remind you of disappointment. And if you’re getting dropped off then that three lane weave people do between terminals 1 and 3 will stress you the fuck out. The chaos at security. The constant white noise from the humming florescent lights, the mass of people crowding through the narrow walk ways, the gate areas that hold roughly 55 people even though the flight holds 100 and it ends up spilling over into the main walkway area making it even more crowded and obnoxious.

You finally get to your get and you’re delayed. The most delayed airport in America. Literally a one in four chance that your flight will be delayed for over an hour. That’s incredible. You’d like to wait it out at the gate, but you can’t. No seats because there’s never any seats. You go to look for an outlet to charge your phone but that’s full too. You decide to go to the bar, but there’s no seats there either because there’s not enough bars and everyone else already had the idea to go to the bar because their flight is delayed too. Your options are to go look at Sue

ohare airport

And that will kill about 30 seconds and wasn’t worth the steps, OR…you could go through the tunnel to the other terminal

ohaire-internal

And pretend you’re Puff Daddy and Ma$e in the Mo Money, Mo Problems video

(Actually filmed there, in case you didn’t know).

I’d rather fly out of Denver which is literally(allegedly) a headquarters for the Illuminati and has a demon murderer horse statue outside. Charlotte Airport is 10th on the list. That is a place that you don’t mind being delayed. They’ve got good food options, they’ve got rocking chairs, usually a person playing the piano, and access to enough bars to get you drunk enough to get kicked off your flight later. It’s a paradise compared to O’Hare. I am glad I found this article because people always complain about various airports. New Yorkers complain about JFK and LGA, people complain about LAX, DFW, etc. Now when people complain I can say NOPE. OHare, my life is worse than yours. Shut up. Science says so.