I Did Not Anticipate Gio Urshela and Mike Tauchman Becoming the New Mantle and Maris But Here We Are

Yankees 12 Blue Jays 6

Yeah things have gotten completely out of control with this Yankees team. I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. The Yankees are setting home run records left and right. The crazy thing about it is that Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, and Gary Sanchez are doing absolutely nothing. It’s Gio Urshela, Mike Tauchman, and Cameron Maybin. At some point the Yankees are going to be investigated for something. Whether it’s a time machine or dark magic, the MLB is going to try to find something to explain this. I heard there are Cambridge professors on the case as I type this, but the nerds are coming up empty.

Gio Urshela is back up to a .323 batting average and a .934 OPS. Everyone who said he wouldn’t last has a giant egg on their face. He’s a hitting machine. The man hits fucking rockets. Mike Tauchman has 11 RBIs in his last 20 at bats which is just preposterous. I still am not sure if he’s eligible as a rookie this year, but if he is he’s got a great chance of taking home the hardware. 28 year old Mike Tauchman stealing the AL ROY would be nothing short of remarkable.

Last night these two eviscerated the Toronto Blue Jays.

Tauchman: .297 AVG | .939 OPS | 2.9 bWAR

Harper: .251 AVG | .836 OPS | 1.7 bWAR

We are living in a fake world.