Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

The People Freaking Out About An Iowa Girl Charging Elizabeth Warren $7 For Lemonade Don't Understand How Capitalism Works

I’ll be honest, I talked a big game in that blog title but I don’t really understand capitalism either, it just seemed like a title people would get riled up about and click on. For all you wannabe bloggers out there, that’s how you do it. Put the name of a controversial politician (which is all of them nowadays because they’re all on a side that the other side hates), a seemingly outrageous price for a cup of lemonade and tell people they don’t understand a broad term like capitalism, that’s how you get the clicks to pile up. You’re here aren’t you?

But anyway I’ve seen this story going around and people freaking out about a little Iowa girl charging $7 for lemonade at her lemonade stand. What those idiots don’t understand is that every four years hopeful politicians head to the great state of Iowa because they wanna curry favor with Iowans in hopes that, when it’s all said and done, they’re sitting in the Oval Office with 65% of the country hating them.

The beauty of that for a local lemonade vendor like that little girl is the politicians will do literally  ANYTHING to please Iowans in exchange for votes. They’ll go to our State Fair, they’ll eat our pork chops on a stick, they’ll kiss our giant babies and yes, they’ll pay an exorbitant amount for a cup of lemonade. People are freaking out about a $7 cup of lemonade but I’m saying that little girl could’ve and should’ve charged Elizabeth Warren $50 for the lemonade. Maybe even $100. Warren wouldn’t dare risk word going around that she cheaped out on buying lemonade from a sweet little Iowa girl, no matter the price. We see how much money these politicians have raised. They can spring for an overpriced, watered down beverage to protect their image.

So for all the people out there who were freaking out about the $7, it was just captialism at work. Class dismissed.