Point, Counterpoint: If You Don't Try To Escape Prison By Dressing Up As Your Daughter While She Waits In Jail, You Are Actually A Bad Parent

Carl blogged this story earlier today and made some very astute points as only a man of his stature and knowledge can.

However, being a confirmed two time, Two Time, TWO TIME sex haver with living, breathing proof, I have to disagree slightly with Carl’s point that leaving your daughter in a Brazilian prison so the bread winner of the family can go back to work makes you a bad parent. If anything, it makes you a fantastic parent for putting the most important thing in your life on the line for the greater good of the ENTIRE family (make that two families if you consider your criminal organization another family like The Sopranos). Also when I say bread winner, I am talking about that incredible cheese bread that Brazilian steakhouses serve instead of just boring white bread.

Now I don’t know how the Brazilian gang community handles taking care of families of guys who got pinched by the long arm of the law. But I don’t believe they subscribe to the “It takes a village” mentality for those types of situations. At least that was the vibe I got from the Favelas level of Modern Warfare 2 back in the day. Sure little Giselle had to hang out in a prison while her dad tried to get a taste of sweet, sweet freedom. But spending a few hours in the Just Visiting section of a jail isn’t so bad. Again, I am saying that based on nothing but years of starting but not finishing Monopoly games. However, if you can’t trust the people you meet while doing hard time in the clink, who can you really trust in this crazy world? At some point, you have to commit to a plan so big poppa can start making those big bucks and supporting his family, which means it’s All Hands On Deck. If that means a grown man will have to get his Mrs. Doubtfire on and dress up as a girl while that girl patiently awaits for him to do so while in prison, so be it. The decision isn’t an easy one to be made. But there’s a reason the person making it gets the big piece of chicken at the dinner table. Because as one of the most famous fathers in the world once said:

*Thinks about it for a minute*

Okay, maybe Thanos isn’t the best person to be referencing here since you literally threw his favorite daughter off a cliff in order to wipe out half of life from the universe. But I still think the message rings true regardless, especially since this guy’s disguise would have tricked me. A for Effort, A for Execution, F for Result.