If I Didn't Know Any Better, I'd Say the Patriots are Having Fun
The Herald – “He’s been great,” Bill Belichick said of [Jamie] Collins. “He had a great spring. He’s had a good training camp. He’s done everything we’ve asked him to do and he’s done it well. Glad we have him. I think he’ll help our team.”
Said Collins: “From him, man, that’s music to my ears, man. It’s an honor to get that type of response from him, and I really do appreciate it. That just makes me feel better and makes me want to come to work even more.”
The Atlantic – [T]he Patriots embrace the family culture around Gillette Stadium – a factor that is even more noticeable at training camp.
After each practice, a flood of kids will barrel out of the friends-and-families tent and out onto the field. … Some players and coaches will spend up to an hour rolling around on the field with their kids.
What fresh hell is this? A coach standing around during team calisthenics, grabassing with his franchise player like they’re old pals? The offense and the defense switching roles, the the best cornerback in the league playing quarterback? The coach talking sweetly about the stud LB he sent into exile and then brought back, while the LB swoons like he just got a promposal? The field turning into a family fun park as soon as practice is over?
If there were no names attached to this I’d just assume it’s one of the franchises that’s run by a new school, happy, positive, upbeat, supportive “players coach.” Think Pete Carroll’s Seahawks, Doug Pederson’s Eagles or Kyle Shananhan’s Niners. Mike Tomlin in Pittsburgh, perhaps. One of those teams that seem like they work the happyface and hearteyes emojis into their PowerPoints in positional meetings.
But nope. These are all Patriots stories. So there can be only one explanation for them. Based on everything I hear from around the league and on Boston radio, this has to be total bullshit.
Playing for the Patriots is not fun. Cassius Marsh says so. And he should know, because he was with the Patriots. You might not remember him because he never made a play, but his name appears in some box scores, so that counts. And he confirmed he was much happier being shipped to the 49ers, who were 1-11. And Lane Johnson said New England isn’t a fun place to play, which is why they won the Super Bowl. It had nothing to do with Jordan Richards and Johnson Bademosi not being within a $5 Uber ride of their assignment; it was about Fun vs. Lack of Fun.
And as sports radio keeps reminding me, Tom Brady is furious he doesn’t have a contract. He keeps hearing it from the shrewish wife who’s been cucking him, resents his coach, still hasn’t gotten over them drafting Jimmy Garoppolo and Jarrett Stidham and will quit at the end of the season. Not to mention how the game has passed Belichick by, he can’t relate to today’s players and has had his nuts cut out from under him by his boss, so he’s going to retire, if not wind up coaching in New York next year.
So nice try, Patriots. But you can’t fool us. We listen to guys like Marsh, Johnson, Felger and Mazz. Quit pretending you’re not miserable because nobody’s buying it.