Belichick Made a 69 Joke and God Can Take Me Now, I've Seen Everything

The player Belichick is being asked about at the 9:00 mark is backup offensive lineman Dan Skipper:

Q: Obviously, you want length in an offensive tackle. How much does his, I guess, unusual length give him at that position?

BB: Yeah, he’s similar to Nate Solder, in that both guys are 6-9. [Pause. Smirk.]

[Awkward pause. Nervous laughter around the room.]

Q: Are you going to get fined?

BB: Do you guys have a fine system? Or do you just let it go? A donation to the Jimmy Fund, something like that? Yeah.

Yeah, that does it for me alright. A man lives long enough, eventually he gets to hear everything. And if you’re reading this, you have lived long enough to hear Bill Belichick crack a “69” joke. And land it, perfectly. With the perfect timing of a Seinfeld, the deadpan of Bob Newhart in his prime, the nuanced word play of Mitch Hedberg (RIP) and the detached, ironic edginess of a Norm McDonald.

Goddamn. There are legendary press conference comics like Bill Parcells, Jon Gruden or Rex Ryan who would kill for this level of stand up chops. Here’s hoping it’s enough to bring Gronk out of retirement to try and take back his 69 joke crown.