Did Millennials Kill Disney World? Angry Mom Goes Viral For Facebook Rant About The "Millennial C*nt In Slutty Shorts" Who Took The Last Mickey Mouse Pretzel And Made Her Child Cry
FOX - Geez, tell us how you really feel.
An anonymous mom’s rant about “childless” couples at Disney World — whom she claims to hate “with a BURNING PASSION” — is currently going viral on social media.
The woman’s diatribe, which was reportedly posted back in September, is now reaching an all-new audience thanks to Twitter user Bad Decision Fairy, who shared a screenshot of the mom’s angry tirade last week.
Everyone – ESPECIALLY the people who follow Barstool – knows by now that millennials are the most vicious band of murderous murderers to ever grace God’s green Earth. We’ve spent the past decade slaughtering every industry, company, object in our path, moving from one dead body to the next with no remorse, leaving nothing but a trail or carcasses in our wake: from chain restaurants to motorcycles to the real estate market to mayonnaise to the population in general.
So basically, it was only a matter of time before Disney World crossed our path.
And nobody caught the millennial smoke worse than “Facebook Mom” and her son Aiden.
Hey Aiden, how does this look little buddy? Pretty delicious huh? Yum yum yum in your tum tum.
SIKE you little bitch, that’s a millennial’s pretzel now. More specifically, a slutty little tramp millennial in some daisy dukes, pound-towning that pretzel with her phone in her hand and the lower quarter of her buttcheeks soaking up the sun.
The rant of course inspired its fair share of thinkpieces from the Boomers – none better than my local newspaper The NY Post jumping in the mix with the millennial-mockery of “Sorry, childless millennials going to Disney World is weird.”
The TL;DR version is a grown man who goes by “Johnny” as his professional journalism name tells you how you’re childish and immature to go to Disney.
Ms. F—–G PRETZEL is right on this point. Millennials are indeed in an unhealthy relationship with Disney, having granted control of so much of their leisure time and personality to a single, enormous corporate entity meant for children. Want to see a movie? Let’s go to the remake of 1994’s “The Lion King” or 1992’s “Aladdin.” Want to go on vacation? Sure, let’s jet off to the new Toy Story Land at Disney World, based on my favorite film from 1995.
While we’re at it, why not return to the safety and comfort of the womb? (NYP)
Mr. Smug shaming not just those of us who love to take a trip to Disney with some friends to get plastered Drinking Around The World…but those of us who even went to see Aladdin and The Lion King! All in the opening paragraph.
But, to quote a world famous culinary master, let’s kick that smugness up a notch!
…The usual complaint about those born between 1981 and 1996 remaining constant 12-year-olds is that the behavior amounts to self-infantilization and a lifelong immaturity that bleeds into basic decision making: getting jobs, paying bills, staying alive.
But another oft ignored problem with letting a kids brand control your adult life is the stupidity and culture ignorance it leads to. You’re skipping great films such as “Booksmart” and “The Farewell” to relive second grade. And your annual (or more, God help us) trip to Disney World costs as much — and more in some cases — than a trip to Europe, South America or Canada, where you would meet people different from yourself. People for whom the only color of the wind is see-through. Fanny-pack-less people.
But many millennials are fine with sticking to “A Whole New World” rather than exploring a whole new world.
…I know I’ll get a barrage of emails and Tweets explaining all the crafty ways Walt Worshipers shave a couple hundred dollars off their Disney trips. Noted. But that’s not the point. Why do the same old, safe, boring thing when you could buy a round-trip Norwegian Airlines flight from New York to Paris right now for $280, get an AirBnb and sit along the Seine drinking rosé?
Oh who am I kidding? You’ll skip the Louvre and go straight to Disneyland Paris.
To Facebook Mom and Johnny Boy – on my next plunge down The Tower of Terror with a beer bong and 2 Ecstasy pills waiting for me at the bottom, I’ll toast to you.