Reader DM: Rex Grossman Is Now Whoring Himself Out To Cameo For $80 A Pop To Pick Random Dude's Draft Orders In Fantasy Football

GODDAMN DOES SEXY REXY LOOK GOOD!!!  At least from the neck up.  Got a little bit of a gunt developing, but that is A OK and to be expected in retired life.  He’s living the goddamn dream it looks like.  Chillin by palm trees.  Slinging videos for $80 a pop to a bunch of random strangers.  That’s the good life right there.  I don’t want, I need to get drunk with Rex Grossman.  Bet he’s got stories for days

That said I still get triggered every time I catch a glimpse of his hands.

Those puny little things cost the Bears a Super Bowl.  I shudder every time they enter my vision.

Rex Grossman is one of those athletes I kinda hated when he was playing but have grown an affinity for after he was done.  Though obviously he’s on a different level from Kyle Orton and Jay Cutler, it’s not too dissimilar to them.  Dude just doesn’t give AF.  I mean the dude got a call from the Browns a few years back to get suited up for ONE GAME and it would have made him about 53 large but turned it down because he was getting hammered with his family at a barbecue and kite surfing:

That’s a next level of DOOOONNNNTTT CCCAAARRREEE that I can do nothing but respect.  Then again he’d prolly have accepted the offer if he didn’t have to play in goddamn Cleveland.  I’d rather take a vacation to Baghdad than go to that dump.

BUT – he did guarantee a Bears Super Bowl in 2019-20.  I gotta say his argument was pretty convincing.  With the White Sox fading off as was expected, football can’t get here soon enough.  Here’s a little preseason hype video: