Must See Video: A Cape Cod Hotel Gets Its Roof Peeled Off by a Tornado

Sweet Mother of God. If you need proof we are living in a Roland Emmerich movie, look no further.

If you’re not familiar with Cape Cod, it is lousy with exactly these sorts of motor inn-style hotels. A Parkour master could go from the canal to the tip of Provincetown hopping from one of these to the next. They’ve all been there for between 50 and a 100 years or so. And they didn’t get there by having their roofs peeled off like the paper-foil top of a jar of peanut butter.

Again, we are talking about Cape Cod. A spit of land jutting out into the Atlantic. This isn’t someplace outside Enid, Oklahoma or Lincoln, Nebraska, where the cold air from the Rockies gets swept down onto the plains and these devastating spinning funnels of windy death are common occurrences. Apparently this is just the fourth one of these to appear on the Cape in the last 70 years. And four is more than enough, thankyouverymuch.

From what I’ve found on the local news sites, no one was hurt, never mind killed. Which is mostly pure, stupid luck. But partly, I’m assuming, thanks to the local first responders taking care of people. My mother-in-law lives on the Cape and she found out about the tornado by getting a call from her town police, who were checking on the elderly. Lord knows law enforcement gets their asses dragged when something goes wrong. Which is to be expected in a free society. It’s just that when they manage a freak weather crisis no one could be prepared for in such a way that there is no loss of life, they deserve to be recognized.

Goddamned Cape Cod. Sharks. Tornadoes. I’m staying on this side of the bridge the rest of summer. I don’t like where this is headed.