New Company Trying To Make Flying In The Middle Seat Less Miserable, Which Is Objectively Impossible

(NYP)–Being stuck in the plane’s cramped middle seats can be a real pain in the behind – often figuratively and literally – but a company in Colorado is aiming to change that.

Molon Labe Seating’s new S1 “Space Seat” design, which was approved by the FAA in June, arranges its rows of economy airline seating so that the middle seat is slightly staggered behind, and below, the window seat and aisle seat on either side. This, in turn, allows for a wider middle seat by three inches, according to Molon Labe Seating.

The seats would also allow passengers to more easily share the middle armrests thanks to a two-level design.

“In a nutshell, I want flying to suck less,” said Hank Scott, founder and CEO Molon Labe Seating, to Fox News.

I love some good old fashioned American ingenuity. There’s a problem, a problem EVERYONE agrees on, and finally someone is trying to make it better. I won’t lie…I do like some of these steps. Lowered seats to provide access to another level of arm rests…good idea. Wider seats for chonk asses and buffer zones from the other passengers…also good. This doesn’t address the biggest problem while sitting in the middle though which is…other people.

Really what an airline needs the courage to do is just make people take psychological or physiological tests. That is the best way to handle this situation. Are you someone who feels the need to get up to pee every 30 minutes during a flight? Congratulations on the small bladder…you’re an aisle person. Are you someone who will fall asleep and/or work for the entirety of the flight? Well now you’re a window person. Do you feel the need to be friendly and strike up conversations with your fellow passengers…well you’re now going to be grouped with like-minded weirdos. Are you a person who stands up out of their seat as soon as the plane lands…well now you’re on a no-fly list. Other people are easily the biggest issue with air travel and 3 inches of space in any direction isn’t going to fix that.