An Illinois Woman Stabbed Her Boyfriend In The Nuts When He Tried To Break Up With Her

[Source] - An Illinois woman stabbed her boyfriend’s genitals last month because he tried to break up with her, police said Wednesday.

The woman grabbed the man in a “bear hug,” from which he broke free, said Decatur Police Officer Tim Wittmer. She then grabbed her boyfriend’s genitals and began to “pull and tug at these body parts to the point that it was painful,” Wittmer added.

The boyfriend felt a “very sharp pain” and “observed a large laceration on his scrotum area,” Wittmer said. He added that the wound was “five to six (inches) in length” and “half-an-inch deep.”

Alright, first things first. The chick is 30 and the dude is 43. Just so we can set the scene even more. Secondly, it’s bullshit this chick doesn’t have her identity released. We need to see what she looks like. It’s important for the hot/crazy scale here.

We also need to know the name. Again, this is important as a PSA for all the Decatur stoolies. If I had to guess it’s a name that could possibly be a stripper’s stage name or she goes by the double name like Katie Lee in Florida. 

Now as for my questions. Did he not know she had a knife? This is how it starts:

The woman grabbed the man in a “bear hug,” from which he broke free, said Decatur Police Officer Tim Wittmer. She then grabbed her boyfriend’s genitals and began to “pull and tug at these body parts to the point that it was painful,” Wittmer added.

Of course pulling and tugging on nuts is painful, Tim Wittmer! It’s not going to be pleasant. Even if you’re into that ballbusting type thing, it’s still painful as hell. But, where did the knife come from?

Finally, I’ll say this. This unknown Decatur woman might be a keeper. Think about how much she loves this man. You don’t break up with her. You also don’t break up with her because your balls are getting stabbed.