I Will Never Ever Let Elon Musk Put A Computer Chip In My Brain
Wired- ELON MUSK DOESN’T think his newest endeavor, revealed Tuesday night after two years of relative secrecy, will end all human suffering. Just a lot of it. Eventually. At a presentation at the California Academy of Sciences, hastily announced via Twitter and beginning a half hour late, Musk presented the first product from his company Neuralink. It’s a tiny computer chip attached to ultrafine, electrode-studded wires, stitched into living brains by a clever robot. And depending on which part of the two-hour presentation you caught, it’s either a state-of-the-art tool for understanding the brain, a clinical advance for people with neurological disorders, or the next step in human evolution.
The chip is custom-built to receive and process the electrical action potentials—“spikes”—that signal activity in the interconnected neurons that make up the brain. The wires embed into brain tissue and receive those spikes. And the robotic sewing machine places those wires with enviable precision, a “neural lace” straight out of science fiction that dodges the delicate blood vessels spreading across the brain’s surface like ivy.
A robot sewing machine places wires in my head with precision? Excuse me what? Yeah, I’m all set. No fucking way am I letting Elon Musk put a computer chip in my brain, I’m not letting anyone put a computer chip in my brain, but certainly not Elon Musk. You mean the same guy who said he was gonna get rid of traffic in Los Angeles with a series of revolutionary tunnels that would send people flying underground at top speeds but it ended up just being a tunnel that a small bus can go through at a low speed, that’s the guy I’m supposed to trust to safely and securely implant a chip into my brain? Get the fuck outta here man. People who still buy into these Elon Musk ideas are the biggest dopes in the world.
The benefits of having a computer chip in your brain seem great (brain linked to the internet, checks for Alzheimer’s, etc etc) but who knows if that shit will actually work? Rarely does a Elon Musk-led product launch successfully, so best of luck to the computer chip guinea pigs. The real benefits are for the people who collect the data from your brain and do god know’s what with it. Sell it to a foreign country who hates us? Sell it to a company like Amazon so they can see your brain patterns and make you buy more socks? Or maybe just to keep everything for themselves and eventually turn us all into meat robots who have to obey our master’s every command. No thanks.
PS- I’m really not too worried about these computer chips because Elon will fuck it up and, by the time they’re “done” making the chips, they’ll be nothing more than blue tooth headsets.