The Florida Government Is Shooing Homeless People Away From Parks By Playing "Baby Shark" Over And Over On Loop

ABC- Officials in West Palm Beach are hoping a continuous loop of children’s songs played throughout the night will keep homeless people from sleeping in a city park. West Palm Beach parks and recreation director Leah Rockwell tells the Palm Beach Post they’re trying to discourage people from camping out along the glass-walled Lake Pavilion. She says the pavilion rakes in some $240,000 annually from events.

The loop of “Baby Shark” and “Raining Tacos” is a temporary fix to keep homeless people off the patio. Rockwell says the city wants to formalize hours for the park, which should make trespassing laws easier to enforce.

In case the nonstop shenanigans of Florida Man and Florida Woman weren’t enough to scare you from ever visiting the Sunshine State, we now have the Florida Parks & Rec department weaponizing children songs in a move that even Leslie Knope would think was a tad extreme.

Look, I get that you don’t want homeless people shacking up in a park because of the smell, psychotic rants, and persistent chance that some sort of human fluid may hit you at any given moment. And I know some of the kids these days will say Baby Shark is hot or it bangs or whatever they say to describe a great song. But as a parent that has been subjected to hearing Baby Shark over and over, I can tell you from experience that it is a form of torture up there with flaying and waterboarding. Once “Baby Shark” is played for the 20th time in a row, you start to dream of a world where you are swimming in the ocean with actual great white sharks while wearing a chum bathing suit instead of enduring the psychological torture that Baby Shark, Mommy Shark, Daddy Shark, Grandma Shark, and Grandpa Shark unleash on the human soul one verse at a time. Sure the pain of being torn to shreds by an apex predator with rows and rows of teeth would hurt. But it would likely be a quick if not super bloody death instead of your already fragile mind being picked apart note-by-note. When you hear those two notes of the infamous Jaws song play, you know some sort of bad shark carnage is coming your way.

But I would rather suffer the fate of Quint (RIP In Peace) over whatever mental torture those bums endure nonstop every night.

That being said, this form of torture will definitely work, so the sick fucks in the West Palm Florida Parks & Rec department better tip their cap to the GOAT for likely giving them the inspiration to use this form of torture back in the day.