Man Sits On The Toilet For 5 Straight Days Trying To Break The World Record

 A Belgian man spent 116 hours sitting on a toilet in hopes of setting a new Guinness World Record for the feat.

Wearing a t-shirt, shorts and flip flops, he had hoped to stay on the pot for 165 hours. But, after nearly five days, De Frenne gave up Friday morning, claiming he felt fatigued.

De Frenne said Guinness World Records was aware of the effort and that local officials and witnesses were checking in to validate his attempt. As far as he knew, the previous record for toilet-sitting was 100 hours.

Pardon my language here, but who gives a shit? Either shit or get off the pot! Honestly…the Guinness Book of World Records used to be the belle of the ball at the annual elementary school book fair, but it wasn’t for candy ass awards like this. Show me the world’s longest fingernails. Show me the world’s most tattooed and pierced human. Even show me the most back handsprings ever completed in a row. But those awards actually take some sort of skill. This dude wanted to set a world record, and he came up with quite honestly the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard of. Listen to some of the stipulations he had…

The toilet was not connected to any plumbing.

Sick, dude. You’re not really even sitting on the toilet then. You’re basically sitting on a chair that’s painted white. I’m pretty sure I’ve broken this record multiple times this summer sitting on my recliner at home.

De Frenne was allowed a five-minute breaks every hour, which he could accumulate over several hours to take naps, stretch his legs or use the real bathroom.

Wait what?? Five minutes per hour? You mean he can sit for 4 hours, take 20 minutes off, then sit for 4 more? That literally sounds like college football Saturday and NFL Sunday. Watch a game, go get wings, watch another game, order pizza, then watch the late game. All jokes aside, I may have to beat this world record come fall. He only sat for 116 hours (was trying to get 165 but he’s soft). Let me do some quick math..

Okay so 5 days would do the trick. Well I can already think of 4 days in the middle of March where I just sit on my chair anyways. What’s 24 more hours? My only question here is what happens if I fall asleep? If you’re allowed to rest your eyes I could do this for 200 hours. If you have to stay awake, I think I would need some performance enhancers but 116 hours is certainly within reach.